October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and focuses largely on women, although men CAN get Breast Cancer, so make sure to check your moobs, fellas. But it’s time to pack away those pink polos. November is Movember, a month dedicated to men’s general wellness, observed by gentlemen giving their razors a vacation and letting their facial hair grow wild (or as wild as it can grow in a month) to put on a new face and thus putting a new face on men’s health, which includes focuses on everything from, yes Cancer to depression.
Vin Diesel’s (pictured above) latest film, ‘The Last Witch Hunter’ may have tanked at the box office, but the beefy star did manage to join the ranks of some the bearded elite of genre film with his savage Viking-like beard! Well done, sir and extra credit for the three braids! Maybe they should have avoided the October dead zone and opened this movie in Movember. Or nah, because it still would have sucked.
For the gentlemen, here is a selection of the most epic examples of facial hair in sci fi and fantasy film and television history to hopefully motivate you in your follicle endeavors. Ladies, simply enjoy this parade of manliness!
Lando Calrissian’s suave simple ‘stache – Billy Dee Williams in ‘The Empire Strikes Back’
Jon Snow’s sexy scruff – Kit Harrington in ‘Game of Thrones’
Wolverine’s mutant mutton chops – Hugh Jackman in the ‘X-Men’ movies
Hagrid’s half-giant “I live in the woods” bush – Robbie Coltrane in the ‘Harry Potter’ movies
Dumbledore’s wizardiest of all wizardy beards – Richard Harris in the ‘Harry Potter’ movies
Gandalf’s “Oh yeah, Dumbledore? Suck it!” wizardy beard – Ian McKellan in the ‘Lord of the Rings’ movies
Obi-Wan Kenobi’s “Gentlemen, can’t we all just get along?” wise mentor Force beard – Alec Guinness in ‘Star Wars: A New Hope’
Or if you prefer, younger Obi-Wan’s ginger prequel beard – Ewan McGregor in the ‘Star Wars’ prequels
Hans Reinhardt’s “You can tell I’m evil by my beard” two-toner- Maximillian Schell in ‘The Black Hole’
Evil Mr. Spock mirror universe Van Dyke – Leonard Nimoy in ‘Star Trek’
Ming The Merciless’ dagger-like Fu Manchu – Max Von Sydow in ‘Flash Gordon’
Prince Vultan’s party in the front, feathers in the back beard – Brian Blessed in ‘Flash Gordon’
J. Jonah Jameson’s asshole boss ‘stache – J.K. Simmons from the ‘Spider-Man’ movies, which is sadly not equal to…
Cartoon and comic J. Jonah Jameson’s “Maybe Hitler copied it from ME!” Hitler ‘stache
Gomez Addams’ creepy and kooky hide your kids ‘stache – John Astin in ‘The Addams Family’
Ethel Darling’s “Just a mustache? Amateurs.” lady beard – Kathy Bates in ‘American Horror Story: Freak Show’
Madame Truska’s lady beard that’s almost longer than her hair – Salma Hayek in ‘Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant’
Man-At-Arms’ manlier than He-Man ‘stache-at-arms – ‘He-Man and the Masters of the Universe’
The Doorman’s”Who Rang That Bell” slick ‘stache – Frank Morgan in ‘The Wizard of Oz’
Seneca Crane’s manscaped A.F. face topiary – Wes Bentley in ‘The Hunger Games: Catching Fire’ and ‘Mockingjay’
The Joker’s painted over Latin Lover ‘stache – Caesar Romero in ‘Batman’ (1966)
Ben Luckett’s forever young(ish) grandpa ‘stache – Wilford Brimly in ‘Cocoon’
The Mario Brothers’ tag team super ‘staches – the ‘Super Mario Brothers’ video games
Zed’s “My mustache is up here” 70s A.F. ‘stache (bonus points for the braided ponytail) – Sean Connery in ‘Zardoz’
Machete’s “You’re gonna wanna cross to the other side of the street” ‘stache – Danny Trejo in ‘Machete Kills’… and like everything else he’s in
Captain Jack Sparrow’s totally method beaded beardlocks – Johnny Depp in the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movies
Davy Jones’ totally gross tentacle-face – Bill Nighy in the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movies
Chewbacca’s Chewbacca – Peter Mayhew in the ‘Star Wars’ movies
So somewhere in that mix, you must have found your facial hair spirit animal. Which iconic visage is your role model?
Oh well, once December arrives, everyone can shave and not have to… see… anymore…
Oh fine. One more.
In all seriousness, men look out for your health, if not for you then for your loved ones!
Haven’t started sprouting face pubes? Get Move-ing!