Are you ready for Season Nine of ‘Doctor Who’?  If not, after this, you’ll have no excuse!  Here are the titles of all 12 new episodes, along with writer and director credits, quotes and episode descriptions!  Yes, EVERYTHING you need to know before spending another 12 weeks locked in a Tardis.

Read on below: (NOTE: Images are NOT from specific episodes and most are from last season.  They’re just there to look pretty.)

1. The Magician’s Apprentice

Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by Hettie MacDonald

“What’s a confession dial?”

“In your terms, a will. This is the last will and testament of the Time Lord known as the Doctor.”

A final message from a dying scientist. A plea from the deadliest corner of time and space. Only one man can answer, but he has gone missing from all of time and space. Where is the Doctor? As the skies of planet Earth stand frozen, Clara Oswald enters into a dangerous alliance.

The Doctor is gone from the universe – friends and enemies alike can find him nowhere. When even the Daleks can’t track down their ancient foe, and the Doctor’s old friend and nemesis, Missy, is forced to ask for help, does it mean that the mad man in the box has truly disappeared? What fear, or what terrible shame, could possibly drive the Doctor into the shadows? The answers are more dreadful than Clara’s worst imaginings, and she finds herself embarking on a journey into the Doctor’s worst nightmare …

2. The Witch’s Familiar

Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by Hettie MacDonald

“The Doctor is trapped. He’s a prisoner of the creatures who hate him most in the universe. Between us and him is everything the greatest warrior race in history can throw at us. We, on the other hand, have a pointy stick.”

There are places the Doctor should never go. Planets where his life would not be worth an hour’s purchase. When he finds himself in the very worst of these, without his Tardis, or his sonic, and with his best friends murdered in front of his eyes, he has only his wits to keep him alive. And perhaps something else. What is the Doctor’s confession? Why did he really leave Gallifrey all those centuries ago? And is it a secret he is willing to give up?

3. Under The Lake

Written by Toby Whithouse
Directed by Daniel O’Hara

“It’s impossible! It’s evil! I hate it! It’s astonishing! I want to KISS IT TO DEATH.”

Under a lake, in the dripping gloom of an underwater base, stands a gleaming black space ship, recovered from the lake bed. Nothing is inside – but when the base crew start dying, they make a terrible discovery: ghosts are real! And their friends are refusing to stay dead! The Doctor and Clara arrive to find a base under siege from beyond the grave. But how can the dead be walking? What has brought them back? When the Doctor discovers the truth, it is more terrifying than any simple ghost story.

4. Before The Flood

Written by Toby Whithouse
Directed by Daniel O’Hara

“Doctor. Hello. Can I just say: huge fan.”

In the eerie remains of a town that never was, something is stalking the Doctor and his friends. A desperate battle for survival is underway, but this time our heroes already know which of them is going to lose. With the past and the future hanging in the balance, the Doctor is breaking the rules to win the day. Can anything stop the Fisher King? And more importantly, who composed Beethoven’s 5th?

5. The Girl Who Died

Written by Jamie Mathieson and Steven Moffat
Directed by Ed Bazalgette

“There’s going to be a war tomorrow. And here’s some news, this just in – we are going to win the hell out it!”

In a backwater of history, in a little Viking village where all the warriors have just been slaughtered, a young girl called Ashildr is about to make a desperate mistake. The Mire are the deadliest mercenaries in the galaxy, famed for being unstoppable and without mercy – and Ashildr has just declared war on them. The Doctor and Clara have twelve hours, to turn a handful of farmers and blacksmiths into a fighting force ready to face down Odin himself. And there’s more – because this is the day when the Doctor remembers where he’s seen his own face before.

6. The Woman Who Lived

Written by Catherine Tregenna
Directed by Ed Bazalgette

“Ninja, nun, surgeon, scientist, composer, inventor… it’s a fantastic CV.”

England, 1651. The highwayman known as The Nightmare is plaguing the land. But the Nightmare is not all he seems, and his fire-breathing accomplice who lurks in the shadows is clearly more than human… The Doctor, on the trail of an alien artefact, is brought face to the face with the consequences of his own actions. For once he encounters someone who won’t let him turn his back on the things he has done. But will the Nightmare be his friend or foe? It may well take till the end of the universe to be sure…

7. The Zygon Invasion

Written by Peter Harness
Directed by Daniel Nettheim

“Operation Double is a covert operation, outside of normal UNIT strictures, to resettle and rehouse an alien race, in secrecy, on planet Earth.”

A long time ago, the Doctor made a deal in the Tower Of London. 20 million Zygons walk among us, in human form, living undetected in peace and harmony. But cracks are showing in this delicate peace. Humans and Zygons are disappearing. In city apartment blocks, lifts are going missing, and far below the streets of Britain, alien pods are growing in secret caverns. Unit’s scientific advisor, Osgood, sends a desperate message to the Doctor – but since Osgood is long dead, how is that even possible?

8. The Zygon Inversion

Written by Peter Harness and Steven Moffat
Directed by Daniel Nettheim

“Humans cannot accept us the way we really are. If we cannot hide, we must fight. You’re going to be the first. You’re going to be the first to make the humans see.”

The future of planet Earth is sealed in a box in Unit’s back archive, and only the Doctor knows what’s inside. With Unit under Zygon control, and Clara lost, the Doctor and Osgood find themselves fugitives in a London where no one can be trusted – but the wily old Time Lord knows there is one last hope for peace. Because that box in the black archive isn’t any old box. It’s an Osgood Box!

9. Sleep No More

Written By Mark Gatiss
Directed by Justin Molotnikov

This is footage collected from a space rescue mission. If you value your life, your sanity, and the future of your species, DO NOT WATCH IT.

10. Face The Raven

Written by Sarah Dollard
Directed by Justin Molotnikov

“There have always been rumours. Stories passed from traveller to traveller, mutterings about hidden streets, secret pockets of alien life right here on Earth.”

Have you ever found yourself in a street you’ve never seen before? The next day, could you not find that street again? You weren’t dreaming. Your memory isn’t playing tricks. Like many lost souls throughout the ages, you have stumbled on an extraordinary secret – be grateful you survived it. The Doctor and Clara, with their old friend Rigsy, find themselves in a secret alien world, folded away among the streets of London. Not all of them will get out alive. One of the three intruders must face the raven…

11. Heaven Sent

Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by Rachel Talalay

“When, at last, you rise to go, there will be another shadow next to yours. And your life will then be over.”

In a world unlike any other he has seen, the Doctor faces the greatest challenge of his many lives. And he must face it alone.

12. Hell Bent

Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by Rachel Talalay

“Is it a sad song?”

“Nothing’s sad till it’s over. Then everything is.”

“What’s it called?”

“I think it’s called Clara.”

“Tell me about her.”

If you took everything from him, and betrayed him, and trapped him, and broke both his hearts… how far might the Doctor go? It is time, at last, for the Doctor’s confession.

 

And there you have it!  What are you hoping to see this season on ‘Doctor Who’?

The new season kicks off on September 19th on BBC America.

Source: Radio Times