Thanksgiving is coming up, and it’s time to be thankful for all the great foods science fiction has given us! If you’re bored with the same old same old for Thanksgiving fare, be sure to try anyone of these dishes and make it a day to remember!
1. Urine – ‘Dune’
Get rid of the bubbly this year, and try processed urine from ‘Dune’! When your family checks their coat in at the door, replace it with a Stillsuit and let them drink their own purified body moisture, ranging from sweat to urine. And that’s not all! It is easily paired with any meat!
2. Soylent Green – ‘Soylent Green’
When serving this dish that is sure to delight, you almost assuredly will be asked, “What is the secret behind this delicious soylent green, dear?”
Smile proudly and say “It’s people. Soylent Green is made of people”. Extra points if you say it like Phil Hartman from the ‘Saturday Night Live’ sketch.
3. Bantha Milk – ‘Star Wars’
Every Thanksgiving Dinner needs a kids table, and while the adults are enjoying their own urine, the kids can get some thick, blue Bantha milk.
For those of you who aren’t willing to brave the journey to Tatooine, there is always blue food coloring and regular milk. It, however, will not be as nutritious, and the kids will probably be able to taste the difference.
4. Gagh – ‘Star Trek’
This slimy meal of serpent worms for Klingons, best served live and squirming, is a fantastic side dish, and a lot more entertaining to play with than cranberry sauce.
A great appetizer, Popplers are the young of Omicron Persei 8 which were originally sold at Fishy Joes across the universe. However, there is a ban on eating them now, so they are a difficult to get a hold of. Still, if you can, they are well worth the inevitable war with Omicron Persei 8.
If Dharma-issued food –that is probably long expired– doesn’t suit your fancy, there is always fish biscuits. The best part is serving them to your family, and watching them struggle to push the button and pull the lever at the same time to get it. It’s even better when they fail, and get shocked with enough force to annoy a polar bear.
7. Ameglian Major Cow – ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’
Cooking a turkey to everyone’s preference is hard, that’s why this year, you should try an Ameglian Major Cow! This cow not only tells you its best pieces, but how each is best cooked. And, unlike the turkey, it actually wants to be eaten!
8. Algae – ‘Battle Star Galactica’
What better way to celebrate the remains of humanity not starving to death while they run away from the Cylons than to serve a big heaping bowl of Algae! That’s right, Battlestar Galactica managed to make high-protein meals that they likely ate for years out of algae. It’s a symbolic, if not very tasty, way to celebrate the holiday.
9. Fish Fingers and Custard – ‘Doctor Who’
The dessert of desserts, as famously eaten by a Time Lord. This dessert will tell every in-law that you know how to put together a good spread when you top of the meal with this salty, fishy, and sweet dish.
If you’re feeling extra adventurous, spice it up with Spice from ‘Dune’ and forget the day even happened.
10. Food Cubes – ‘Farscape’
For the hard to please, there is the tasteless food cube that gives one all the necessary nutrients one needs and more. If the in-laws don’t like your excellent prepared Ameglian Major Cow, at least they won’t not like a food cube.
So those are my suggestions. A bit of a warning though! Don’t leave your leftovers in your fridge! If we’ve learned anything from the science fiction anime ‘Cowboy Bebop’ episode, “Toys in the Attic”, it’s that food left in your refrigerator for too long will gain sentience, eventually leave the confines of the fridge, and murder everyone.