A great many celebrate Thanksgiving, and we here at ScienceFiction.com want you to spice it up a bit this year…. with Klingon! That’s right, a Klingon Thanksgiving!
I’m fairly sure the only things that Klingons give thanks to is the blood of their enemies, but even then, they’d just be thanking themselves, so it may not really be in the spirit of the whole affair. Nevertheless, here is a Klingon benediction translated by Bran Stinson with the USS Tiburon.
DIHom qeylIS, nItebHa’ ghIlDeSten wInobqang maQam DaHjaj. qatlho’ law’ muSonmeH yaj’a’ SoH jIH ‘ej ‘a wa’. Satlho’ laSvarghDaq puS yap maH. lu’
Well, that solves one dilemma, but what should you eat and drink at your Klingon Thanksgiving? Easy!
Because the recipe is so secret that we don’t even know if there is blood in it, there is a good chance you won’t be able to service this. So, we suggest you replace with a dark red wine, and since Bloodwine is supposed to be twice as intoxicating as whiskey, we suggest you pretend that you are very drunk and speak Klingon.
In Texas, they do everything bigger, and on Chronos, they do everything stronger. Raktajino, or Klingon coffee, is a popular choice for races all across the universe, presumably for the kick it gives you in the morning. No we know why Klingons are so energenic in battle!
If you’re unable to procure any Raktajino, simply over-brew a pot of coffee and insist your guests drink true Klingon fair.
Rokeg Blood Pie
If Commander Riker is coming for a visit, make sure you have this on your menu! Or, if you’re just looking for something a little bit more exciting than Pumpkin pie, go for the Rokeg Blood Pie. Like Bloodwine, Trekkies have never been officially told if blood is involved, so the recipe is your guess which is as good as mine.
I suggest baking a pumpkin with red food coloring, and sticking chunks of chocolate out form the center.
Turkey? Hahaha. No. Klingons like real game, and that is octopus. Now we finally have a dish that isn’t made up that we can actually enjoy on Thanksgiving. Imagine, opening the dish while your friends and family’s eye widen in surprise as the tentacles fall out across the table. You then survey your meal, and announce “qay-be”, or “You’re welcome”.
Klingons’ sense of fun may not be ours, but try it for a day. It may make the holiday more interesting! Though, I don’t suggest you have a Thanksgiving like this meal found on the Star Trek Klingon Interactive CD. That might be too much punching for humans like ourselves.