So you’ve seen my picks for the best romances in science fiction and fantasy.  But they can’t all be candy and roses!  Some romances are just terrible!  Here’s a look at five that stand out to me!


5. Talia Al-Ghul & Batman – She’s an assassin and daughter of one of the most deadly terrorist on the planet.  He’s a super hero, who is supposed to fight evil anywhere he finds it.  Yet their attraction is undeniable.  Her father, Ra’s Al-Ghul actually considers Batman to be the perfect man, therefore the only one suitable for his daughter.  The pair do consummate their relationship, resulting in their petulant, sociopathic son Damien Wayne, whom Talia raised to be as lethal an assassin as she.  Bruce has taken in Damien and is struggling to reign in his negative tendencies.  It’s going… okay.  Talia, though not exactly evil, remains loyal to her father and continues to carry out his terrorist assignments.

Batman has also had a sexual relationship with thief Catwoman.  He needs to get his act together.  I guess some guys really do just have a thing for bad girls!


4. Tara and Anybody (True Blood) – Speaking of people that need to get their act together, Tara is bad news in the relationship front!  Maybe it was her neglected childhood, raised by an alcoholic mother, but she has serious intimacy issues.  Played by Rutina Wesley, first Tara is hopelessly in love with her best friend Sookie’s promiscuous brother Jason.  Then she develops a romantic relationship with bar owner Sam Merlotte, a loving, sweet, devoted sad sack, who never seems to catch a break.  Then she meets “Eggs” a handsome musician who is under the sway of succubus Maryann.  Soon Tara herself falls under her possession as well.  Their relationship still seems very passionate and loving, but it’s like the relationship between two drug addicts.  Once freed from Maryann’s control, Eggs is distraught and panics, going after Tara, until someone shoots him right in front of her.  She sees Eggs get shot but not the gunman.  Then, she is glamored by Franklin Mott an evil vampire who keeps her as a sexual prisoner.  He too is dispatched by Jason.  She later kisses Jason, but when he tells her he killed Eggs, she flees and sleeps with Sam again.  But she runs away when she finds out he can shape-shift.  She later begins dating a female cage fighter, Naomi, but is nearly killed shortly thereafter.  Bad news!


3. Ultimate Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver (The Ultimates) – They’re brother and sister and they have sex.  NEXT!


2. Ultimate Wasp & Giant Man (The Ultimates) – In the normal Marvel Universe, Hank Pym a.k.a. Giant Man (and Ant Man, Goliath, Yellowjack and The Wasp) has some mental issues and did smack his wife Janet, The Wasp.  They get divorced, but they occasionally drifted back and forth to one another, before her death.  Then he started dating a robot programmed with her personality.  That’s pretty messed up, but in the Ultimate Universe, his abuse was much more severe.  Hank violently beat Janet bloody and to add insult to injury, doused her with bug spray!  In retaliation, Captain America kicked his ass.  He remained in love with The Wasp however.  In the miniseries ‘Ultimatum,’ she was killed and partially EATEN by the mutant The Blob.  Giant Man picked him up and bit his head off.  Yuck!


How do I top that?!
1. Jacob Black & Edward and Bella’s Baby (Twilight) – I think that picture says it all.  Poor, hopelessly devoted Jacob is madly in love with Bella Swan, but she’s busy chasing after vampire Edward, constantly nagging him to make her a vampire too.  Despite the snub, Jacob constantly takes care of Bella, whenever she needs him.  So in the weirdest case of a consolation prize EVER (not hyperbole, seriously EV-ER!), after Bella and Edward marry, Jacob pledges himself to their BABY!  He magically shifts his devotion to the ridiculously-named Renesmee and his feelings for Bella instantly dissipate.  He serves as Renesmee’s protector until she grows up and they get married.  No really.


I don’t know about you, but that’s some pretty messed up stuff! Like I said, they can’t all be candy and roses! Hopefully this makes you appreciate your loved one a bit more… unless your loved one is a terrorist assassin, shape-shifter or sibling.

Comments?