This week’s guest: Nate Quarry

After a brief hiatus, AMC’s ‘Comic Book Men’ returned to the airwaves on an all-new night. Now broadcasting on Thursday nights as part of the network’s Real Original Thursdays block, this Valentine’s Day episode didn’t have much love in it, but rather there was a quarrel between hetero life mates. As we saw in the preview from earlier this week, Jay and Silent Bob go toe to toe in the octagon thanks to a former ‘Ultimate Fighter’ competitor.

Before fight night commences, Mike, Ming, Walt, and Bryan start the episode by discussing a bit of ‘Star Wars’, specifically the Death Star and the pilots who took it down. First there was Luke Skywalker, then Wedge, and finally Porkins, which lead to a discussion about how Porkins even got on the fleet. Walt says that he must’ve been a good shot, while Bryan pointed out that he barely fit in the cockpit. They ended the discussion by pondering whether or not there’s an action figure of the guy since just about everyone in those films has a 3.75-in scale figure of themselves. What I’m wondering is that if there is one, then why isn’t there a set of the three pilots with their X-wings yet? Get on that, Hasbro!

The first customer of the second half of the season comes in with a Randy Bowen Juggernaut statue that he’s trying to sell. He teaches 3rd grade, but he’s looking to do some traveling, so he’s getting rid of some stuff. Ming is surprised when the young man says that he’s a teacher and says, “I wish I had teachers like you.” After busting Ming’s chops some more, Walt begins his usual song and dance. The customer starts with $350, but Walt throws out $225. They settle on $274, and then Bry and Walt tease Ming about being hot for teacher some more.

Retired MMA fighter Nate Quarry comes in to talk to Walt to see if The Stash will carry his independent comic, ‘Zombie Cage Fighter’. Walt isn’t completely sold on it at first since there are so many zombie books on the shelves these days, so he’s looking to sweeten the pot by suggesting that Nate organize an MMA fight with costumed fighters. They come to an agreement and Walt immediate thinks to call Kevin to fly in for this fight.

The guys react to their first live MMA match.

Another customer comes in with Wonder Woman and Superman Underoos, the children’s underwear from back in the day that had various character-themed tops and bottoms. Walt is intrigued and suggests re-enacting the old commercial with Ming wearing the Wonder Woman set. The price starts at $150, but Walt talks him down to $75. Ming says that he’ll put them on if Walt puts on the Superman ones. Walt agrees, but then pulls one over on Ming. Walt has the Underoos on under his clothes whereas Ming comes out of the basement only wearing the vintage underwear over his boxer briefs. It was certainly a sight to see.

The final customer of the episode comes in looking for Green Lantern books. Mike directs him to ‘Green Lantern’ #76. Written by Denny O’Neil with art from Neal Adams, the 1970 book co-starred Green Arrow and discussed real-world politics. Mike calls it one of the “greatest team-ups in comics ever” and Walt says that it’s the “birth of the comic book conscious”. It’s priced at $425, but the guy can’t afford it, so he buys the trade paperback with the story in it for $30 instead.

Who’d win in a fight?: Jay or Silent Bob

Finally, it’s time for the main event. The crew goes to the gym to see the fight that Nate had arranged for them. Kevin and Jason Mewes come in from the coast just for this. None of them have ever seen a live fight before, so they’re all pretty stoked on it. After announcing that we’ll finally get the answer to “Who would win in a fight between these two?”, Nate introduces the fighters: Jay and Silent Bob! The Stash staff didn’t tell Kevin that this would be going down, so his face when the combatants entered the ring was priceless. Mewes and Kev act as corner men for their respective characters to psyche them up for the fight. When the action starts, Kevin yells, “Silent Bob strike back!” In the end, Silent Bob taps out to give Jay the victory by rear naked choke. To be honest, I don’t think that anyone was really surprised by the outcome. Sorry, Silent Bob! I love you, but Jay’s from the streets yo.

Considering that the episode that aired before this had Stan Lee in it, ‘The Clash at the Stash’ was still a lot of fun. However, something Kevin said at the end of the show stuck with me. He said something about wishing all fights had costumes like the one they watched. Well, you know where you can get that? Pro-wrestling. It suddenly makes sense that I really love superheroes and wrestling. It’s almost as if my love for one stemmed from the other. Kevin Smith brings up the thought provoking, life-defining questions, ladies and gentlemen.

That does it for this week’s recap of ‘Comic Book Men’. Make sure to check back next week for a new recap of the latest episode. Until then, feel free to go back and check out my past recaps and other ‘Comic Book Men’ related articles.