Area 51
Photo: Shutterstock

If you’ve been on social media this weekend, you know there is a huge rally being organized to “Storm Area 51” on September 20, with such a massive number of people that the military “Can’t Stop All Of Us.”  The purpose is, of course, to “see them aliens.”  As of this writing, a MILLION people have indicated that they are attending, but anybody can indicate that they’re attending.  I mark that I’m attending stuff all the time, only for the day to arrive and I just don’t feel like getting off the couch to go downtown, much less to Nevada.

But should these conspiracy theorists amass this crowd, the US Air Force warns that they will be ready.

Air Force spokesperson Laura McAndrews issued a statement (via Yahoo!), which reads:

“[Area 51] is an open training range for the US Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces…  The US Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets.”

Area 51, part of Edwards Air Force Base, is located near Roswell, New Mexico, and is, according to urban legend (?), where the US government houses all of its information on alien invaders… and possibly even actual aliens (or their corpses) and space ships.  Perhaps most famously, Roswell was reported to have been the site of an alien encounter in 1947, and allegedly, all clues about that incident were taken to Area 51.

As for the Facebook group, this is their intricate plan:

“We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry.  If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Lets see them aliens.”

‘Naruto’ refers to the anime character who runs leaning forward with his arms behind him.  The character is extremely nimble and can usually avoid all obstacles.  He’s also a cartoon.  It doesn’t sound as though these organizers realize that or the fact that cartoons can do stuff that real humans can’t.

Well, the event isn’t for another two months, so you have plenty of time to indicate whether or not you plan to attend.  That also gives you time to learn how to Naruto run.