Our nation has seen its fair share of horrific natural disasters and to our credit, our citizens are always quick to react to help our fellow man. We can never forget our dedicated Red Cross workers, policemen, fire fighters, military servicemen or 90s has beens who have risked their lives and obscurity to help those in need!
For those in need of campy, low budget deliciousness, relief is in sight as SyFy unleashes the worst meteorological catastrophe since The Weather Girls announced that it was “Raining Men” in 1982. Sharknado examines the pressing– and entirely too real– hypothetical… what would happen if a tornado struck the Pacific Ocean, sucked up all the blood-thirsty sharks (Just the sharks! Eff off sting rays, sea horses and narwhals!) and then dumped them all… still breathing, by the way… on Los Angeles!
CATASTROPHE!!! The Red Cross can’t hang with this! Blake Shelton can throw a billion benefits and it wouldn’t raise enough money to fix this! We’re talking SHARKS! Flying!! Haphazardly!!! Still breathing!!!! Through the air!!!!! Oh yeah… IN LA!!!!!!
Witness the sheer power of this trailer!
It’s too bad they couldn’t find any actual actors in LA to star in this. Instead we get Tara Reid who is famous for having one of the worst boob jobs ever. (Click here but NSFW!!!) Oh, she was in some movies too.
Then there’s one of the guys from 90210. No, not that one. Not that one either. No, not Brian Austin Green. There was SO another guy. NO! Not Brenda and Brandon’s dad. Not Nate! No, there was seriously another guy… the one with curly blond hair! Thaaaaaaat’s right! Now you remember. So yeah, starring Steve Sanders. Hmmm? Oh, I guess that wasn’t his real name. It’s really Ian Ziering, but it’s not pronounced Eee-An, like everyone else who spells their name that way, it’s Eye-An, because when no one cares who you are, I guess you can just call yourself whatever. I personally sign all my checks “Sparkles McUnicorn.” (Guess Andrea Zuckerman was too busy editing the yearbook or something to appear.)
Oh right. And did I mention FLYING HUNGRY SHARKS?!
Tune in tonight, Thursday July 11th at 9pm Eastern on SyFy (where else?!).
Normally, I’d write something like “Will you be watching this?” But since you obviously are, feel free to comment below with any profound thoughts that occur to you while watching.
Also, I kinda wish it was Brian Austin Green that was in this, just on the off chance he’d bust out the David Silver dance.