I can tell you my best pick-up line to date was when I shook Jonathan Frakes hand at Starfest right after I took a shot with JG Hertzler (Martok from Deep Space Nine). All I had to do was walk up to people at the bar and tell them that, and voila! Free drinks and phone numbers.
But, since we can’t all touch Jonathan Frakes’ hand, and drink with a Klingon general, I have some suggestions for the rest of you. Now, whether these are the best or the worst pick-up lines is really all up to you.
- “Hello, I’m Captain Jack Harkness. (And who are you?)”
If going by my inability to tell fiction from reality is anything to go by, this is the most effective pick up line in the history of sci-fi, and therefore real life. Someday, someone will get down on one knee and tell me this, and…
I will say no, because think about it! He’s the Sam Winchester of sci-fi. Everyone he loves dies. He kissed an old guy once in Miracle Day, and he died TEN SECONDS LATER.
If they don’t watch Doctor Who or Torchwood, they may not realize your name is not actually Captain Jack Harkness. So… actually, no downside, really.
- “Are you a Cylon? Cuz you’re always in my head.”
Who can forget how Gaius Baltar had the hottest guilt complex in the history of… oh.. I don’t know… TIME? And what better way to compliment someone than to insinuate that they are the manifestation of everything you feel culpable for.
I’ve seen relationships last for agonizing years on this basis alone. Why not try it yourself?
The person you say this to may actually be a Cylon (kind of) like Head Six, and you are talking to yourself in the middle of a bar like a crazy person. Still, Baltar managed pretty well in the end, didn’t he?
- What’s the answer to life, the universe, and everything? This guy.
Pulling anyone who knows a Hitchhiker’s Guide reference is like litmus test. In that one instant, you find out if they are marriage material.
This only works, however, if you have the above shirt, so make sure you purchase it, or at least take a Sharpie to the one you’re wearing right now.
You may think that suggesting that you are the answer to everything in someone’s life is setting them up for inevitable disappointment, but remember that usually happens in a relationship. No avoiding it.
- I’m fully functional and anatomically correct.
Was “The Naked Now” probably one of the worst episodes to ever be apart of The Next Generation? Probably. But still, I don’t think I’m in minority when I admit that when Data said this, I was a little turned on.
Plus, if you say this, and someone understands your reference, they will automatically know that you are “programmed in multiple techniques” and have knowledge of “a broad variety of pleasuring”.
Of course, no one wonders at how long Dr. Noonian Soong spent on that particular area of Data, or how his wife felt about that, but that is another article altogether.
I also want to take this opportunity to point that that the Star Trek wiki, Memory Alpha, thought this such an important fact that it put it in the character notes.
How could there be a downside to this? You’re just stating facts. That is unless you are neither functional or anatomically correct, then you may want to try one of my other suggestions.
- “Did it hurt?”
- “When your plane crashed on an island that was a metaphor for Purgatory?”
Okay, I know that one’s bad, but I’m determined to make it work because I think I may be the only person who is still in love with Lost.
So, I guess what I’m really saying is that this line may just work on me… and probably only me.
This is not actually a compliment in any shape, way or form, and if they take it as such, you’re hitting on someone who is particularly damaged… like murdered-your-step-father-and-went-on-the-run-and-broke-the-heart-of-Officer-Nathan-Fillion-and-killed-your-old-childhood-crush-and-therefore-can’t-make-decisions-about-if-you-want-to-love-the-scruffy-rebel-or-the-play-by-the-rules-doctor sort of damaged. Or, tortured-your-own-future-wife-and-then-turned-in-your-old-best-friend-on-charges-of-terrorism-and-then-became-a-contract-killer-for-the-one-man-you-hate-because-he-knows-who-offed-your-wife-six-months-after-you-married-her sort of damaged.
But then again, if they look like Evangeline Lily and Naveen Andrews, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
So Happy Valentine’s Day!
May these pick up lines let you live long and prosper in the dating life, though honestly… don’t try them unless you haven’t shaken Jonathan Frakes’ hand or taken a shot with JG Hertzler. Feel free to share you sci-fi pick up lines in the comment section below!