Well the time has come and gone when cute little kids dress up as ghosts and goblins and go knocking door to door for candy. The sounds of adoring parents as they open their doors and hearts to these adorable little creatures were echoed throughout the neighborhood. There is, however, a special breed of child that loves something more than candy and we sincerely hope that none of them came knocking on your doors last night. Here we pay homage to those not-so-wholesome kids that make us want to re-consider having offspring.
10. Eli – ‘Let the Right One In’
Eli may look 12 years old, but is actually about 200. Adapted from the novel by John Ajvide Lindqvist, this Swedish vampire film released in 2008 has some interesting twists. First of all, Eli is actually a boy but wears girls’ clothing. So instead of killing, Eli meets and befriends boys around the same age and forms a very deep bond with them. The boy thinks of it as a romantic relationship while Eli sees it as a means for food. Eli’s first accomplice/companion is Håkan who meets a gruesome death as an older man (but he kind of deserves it as he’s slightly perverted). Then Eli meets shy and bullied Oskar who takes a liking to Eli immediately. Unfortunately Oskar has no idea what’s in store for him in his later life, but for now, he’s perfectly happy having companionship from his vampire protector.
9. Danny Glick – ‘Salem’s Lot’
Danny is the first to be ‘infected’ when an Austrian immigrant and his mystery business partner show up to the little town of ‘Salem’s Lot’ in the 1979 mini-series based on the novel of the same name by Stephen King. He and his brother Ralph go missing but Danny is the first one to come back and ‘infect’ other unlucky town members. Danny even shows up at his parents’ house and convinces his mom to not only let him in, but to FEED ON HER while his father is sleeping next to them. Poor pops wakes up due to the bloodsucking commotion and stares on at Danny in terror, but all Danny can do is smile….
8 – Carol Anne – ‘Poltergeist’
Carol Anne is as sweet as they come, everyone wants to be her friend. Even the undead. In the 1982 film ‘Poltergeist,’ Carol Anne befriends ‘the TV people.’ At first it’s very exciting and cool to be flung across the kitchen floor by an unexplained force, but when these not so friendly ghosts want to really play with Carol Anne, they punch a hole into her world and take her back with them. From there on, it’s haunt central at her family’s house as they try to find a way to get their precious baby back (the parents, played by Craig T. Nelson and JoBeth Williams, absolutely nail their roles here). They bring in outside parties to recover her (a not so lucky cameraman has a late night meal with one of Carol Anne’s new friends) and they eventually get her back BUT the haunting continues and makes for a pretty epic finale.
7. Esther – ‘Orphan’
Esther’s dream is to be put in a good home and to be a part of a nice family that loves her.…Yah, sure. Esther is ‘different’ in more ways than one in the 2009 film ‘Orphan.’ Sure she loves to wear bows in her hair and ribbons around her wrists/neck ALL THE TIME but what proper little girl doesn’t? The Coleman’s adopt Esther as they want to expand their family after a tragic accident happens during Mrs. Coleman’s last pregnancy. Esther is mature way beyond her years, so when Esther starts to put distance between family members (by attempting murder!) and makes a pass at Mr. Coleman, her real secret is revealed and all hell breaks loose. Blood bath at the end will have parents removing the bows from their little girls.
6. Damien Thorn – ‘The Omen’
Damien is a special boy with a special purpose. He’s the son of Satan and he’s here to take over the world – no big deal. In the 1976 film ‘The Omen’, Robert and Katherine Thorn have a baby which sadly dies at birth, but a rare opportunity arises and Robert takes Damien as their own child, but never tells Katherine that their bouncing baby boy isn’t actually from the fruit of their loins. When bizarre things start to occur, say for example, the nanny hanging herself from the roof of the Thorn house during little Damien’s birthday party (“It’s All for YOU, Damien!”), ol’ mom and dad start to clue in that their first born may not be of this earth. Watch out for his killer attack dog and very overbearing replacement nanny, Mrs. Baylock. They’re servants of the Devil and are prepared to do his bidding!
5. Samara Morgan – ‘The Ring’
Unplug the phone and throw out the TV!! This crazy kid NEVER sleeps and always has her eye on you in the 2002 film ‘The Ring’ based on the novel ‘Ringu’ by Koji Suzuki. Richard and Anna Morgan always wanted a little girl, so they adopt darling Samara and become one big happy family. That is, until this poor little insomniac creeps the living hell out of everyone and her mommy dearest ends up drowning her in a well. Samara gets her revenge, though, by cursing all who see the video tape she made from the grave then calls to let you know you only have 7 days to live. Fun Fact: She crawls out of your TV when your 7 days are up to kill you.
4 . Tomás – ‘The Orphanage’
You want to play a game with him? Cause he sure wants to play one with you! In the 2007 Spanish horror film ‘The Orphanage’, Tomás is in search of a playmate to call his own. All the other kids at the orphanage used to mock him due to facial deformities (hence the I’d-run-for-my-life-if-I-ever-was-actually-face-to-face-with-this-horrifying-sack that he wears on his head). He was shunned in life, but that doesn’t mean he can’t make friends in the after-life. Note to playmate: if you win his game you are granted one wish….but be careful what you wish for.
3. Regan MacNeil – ‘The Exorcist’
Well what was thought to be a severe case of puberty for 12 year old Regan in the 1973 film ‘The Exorcist’, actually turned out to be a demonic possession. Her foul mouth and ability to twist her head all the way around might make her less than ideal to have over for a sleepover, but once the Devil is expelled from her body, she sure is one sweet girl. Note to parents: your teen’s sudden and unbearable mood swings are a walk in the park compared to what Regan can do.
2. Gage Creed – ‘Pet Sematary’
Gage is a sweet little boy who loves to play with his cat, Church, in the 1989 film adaptation of Stephen King’s best-selling novel ‘Pet Sematary’. One afternoon a horrific accident happens and Gage is run over by a truck and killed. Gage’s dad has the good sense to bury his son’s body in a nearby Indian burial ground so that Danny will come back to life and continue to be the adorable little guy he was before. No harm, no foul right? WRONG. True it wasn’t Gage’s fault he came back as pure evil, but evil he was nonetheless. While he’s on the loose, watch your ankles, he tends to fancy scalpel’s as play toys.
1- Danny Torrance – ‘The Shining’
Who could forget our good pal Danny…oh and the lovable man living in his finger, Tony. In the 1980 film ‘The Shining’, Danny occasionally sees dead people and finger paints the words Murder on the bathroom mirror, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let your kids go trick or treating with him. He’s just an average kid who likes to ride his trike, explore hedge mazes, and loves hanging out with twins.
Honorable Mention: These youngsters are mighty creepy but didn’t quite warrant us to call a priest to babysit:
Cid AKA ‘The Rainmaker’ – ‘Looper’ – He can’t control his powers…He can make the human body explode when he’s upset or is in a panic. Get this kid a Xanax.
Haley Joel Osment – ‘The Sixth Sense’ – “I see dead people” may be one of the most famous film lines ever, but still, we’d rather only see live people.
The Grady Twins – ‘The Shining’ – “Come play with us Danny. Forever and ever,” ummmm no thanks.
Kristen Dunst – ‘Interview with a Vampire’ – Don’t let her bouncy blond curls and angelic face fool you. She will drain you if she doesn’t get her way.
The Children of Gatlin – ‘The Children of the Corn’ – Makes us look at farming equipment in a whole new way.
Hopefully you never have problem children like these guys, but if you think any are missing from this list, feel free to include them in the comments section below!
