Welcome back my darling Faenatics! Last week Bo and the Scooby gang (we have GOT to come up with a name for them! Post your ideas below!) had to out freak a carnival of freaks to keep the land under Light Fae control. Dyson came home but is all kinds of emo.

Here there be SPOILERS….

Things are still out of control in Faetown. The Ash is still on life support. Bo and Dyson broke up again. This time Kenzi and Hale are prepared – ice cream (check), vodka (check), large animal tranquilizer dart (check… wait – what?).  Kenzi, “last time Dyson dumped Bo’s ass, a car got smashed, three furies died and a dude’s head was cut off, and that was when they were just bang buddies!” Hale is still scratchin his head wondering how he got hooked into this save-Bo plan. Kenzi, “sidekick solidarity – check your contract.” So off they go to find Bo. The same Bo that is dressed in a nighty and swinging on a swing in her bed room – of course she is, that’s what succubae do right? I know what you’re thinking, “it’s one of thoooose kind of swing.” Nope. It’s an old school board on some chains kind of swing and it’s not over her bed. Kenzi, this time you’ve hit the nail on the head, “she’s lost her shit!”  Bo’s got it all figured out though. She and Dyson didn’t technically break up. They were broken up. By a hag… with a really big tree in her living room, that as Bo puts it, “wouldn’t know real love if it leaped up and bit her in her waddle!” So Bo plans to win back Dyson. She has to. He was willing to give up his WOLF for her. That’s big.

Cut to a van stopping in an alley. A woman gets out and nicely helps a hooded and shackled figure from the van and whispers, “good luck. I’m rooting for you.” As she hands the figure off to another guy and removes the shackles all hell breaks loose. Hoodie breaks free, drops the hood and bolts. When she gets midway down the alley she just stops and puts up her hands. When the two guards catch up, she pulls a Miss Clairol swinging her hair, spraying both guards with quills (how did you “guards” not see that coming?!? Again guards are seriously dumb in this universe.) Then she apologizes with a “there’s something I’ve got to do first.”

Hale and Dyson are on the scene! The two guards weren’t killed just knocked out. Hoodie was a prison transfer for… but we don’t get to find out just yet.

At the Dal – Tall, dark and obviously powerful walks into the bar (probably not the best beginning to a joke but all of theLight Fae bow to him).  He introduces himself to Trick as The Blackthorn and makes the proclamation that in two days a new Ash will be named. Hale, “lots of rituals, big ass feast, stag hunt.” Kenzi, “will there be wenches and mead?” Hale, “he he, you crash the party and there’ll definitely be a wench.” (Please Please Please never hook these two up! They’re sexual tension is better than Moonlighting and Bones combined!)

Back at the succu-mansion – Kenzi’s all bummed because Bo won’t go to the big swanky Fae shindig. “Come on! Feasting and hunting stags and kilts and bangers and mash and Mary Poppins! I’m all out of British crap. You win.” Little do they know Hoodie has snuck in the front door – at least I think she did, it’s not clear how she appears in the living room. Either way Bo and Kenzi are a bit defensive. Hoodie, “I need your help. You know that stag hunt you were just talking about? I’m the stag.” I think Bo has a sucker button the size of Texas. She can’t walk away when someone comes around saying “I need your help.” They let Hoodie tell her tale. The stag is always a prisoner in jail.  She was imprisoned 83 years ago because she was going to run off and marry her Dark Fae lover, Hamish (that’s a HUGE no-no). On the night she was to run off with Hamish, a Light Fae goon squad got to her first. She never saw Hamish again. She has no idea who turned them in. BANG! BANG! BANG! Someone knows Hoodie is hiding out at the succu-mansion. Before they break in, her final wish to Bo is to know Hamish is alive and to see him one last time. Bo agrees as three large goons bust in the door followed by a cranky Dyson. As he orders them to leave he spits, “feel free to complain if I leave you a throat.” Hoodie, aka Sabine, says she’ll go with Dyson now that she’s delivered her message to Bo. (Really? Just like that?)

Bo can’t let things go (how boring would that be) so she goes to visit The Blackthorn. He greets her with a toothy grin, a flourish and a kiss to the cheek. This man is hiding something or he’s VERY powerful. As they talk he wants to “borrow” her for a moment to test fabric. Random. He explains how ingrained all of these rituals are to the Fae. He explains the way Fae society works, how they use humans as food but they’re responsible about it. In the end he sees Bo as “an obnoxious vegan” getting in his way. He’s not the least bit threatening, in fact he’s very kind. He even offers Bo a gift, s little something to wear to the shindig. “Oh and bring that little bartender along. He seems like he’d be fun.” Yup, something is definitely up with this guy.

Later, Bo and Kenzi track down Hamish (based on info from Trick). He’s actually home but doesn’t want anything to do with them or Sabine. “I’ve had 80 years to get over it so should she” and then he proceeds to vanish into thin air. Bo won’t give up on Sabine that easy. Plan B – save Sabine during the hunt and not get caught doing it. Kenzi, “I wish I could quit you.”

At the Dal – Trick give Bo and Kenzi the run down on how a New Ash is chosen. First, all of the potential candidates meet at the Gyllenhaal. Bo, “Which one? Jake or Maggie?” The Gyllenhaal is the big swanky gala where candidates hob-knob and schmooze to get votes. Those with the most votes earn the right to enter the hunt. The one that kills the stag is then named Ash. In order to save Sabine, they need someone of noble blood to get into that hunt. Trick lets them in on a little secret – Hale. Our man Hale is from a noble house! He’s not at all interested in attending this old school snob fest. It takes some serious persuasion and deep digs “Boo hoo. I’m sure you had it so tough Lord Guttless of Knobsburg” from Bo and Kenzi to get him to agree. Did he really have any chance of resisting these two?! I think not.  So the plan – Hale will use his siren call to influence, Bo will take out the competition with her suckage, and Dyson will provide the back-up. Sorry Kenzi, no humans allowed.

Let’s the games begin.

Scooby gang (minus one) works the room. Bo is able to knock out 3 but Mr. Green-armband is completely immune. He chuckles and waves her off like a fly. Dyson intercepts a poisoned cup meant for Hale. During all the fun, Bo is able to catch a moment to speak to Sabine. She looks gorgeous for someone about to be chased and shot. Bo lets her in on the plan but Sabine doesn’t want to live in this new world if she’ll be alone. A ruckus draws they’re attention – a waitress is bumped by a not completely invisible Hamish. Bo tracks him down to the cellars and elegantly head-butts him. Nice Bo. Bo begs him to help save Sabine, “if you really love her, you’d fight for her.”

The winners have been chosen – Hale, Mr. Green and Miss Yellow. The rules are simple – sanctioned weapons only (old fashion bow & arrow), you may not kill one another, and if the stag rings the bell the hunt ends and all are disqualified. He blows some weak-ass horn and the Hunger Games begin! Everyone goes running through the woods. Mr. Green is hot on Sabine’s trail but Miss Yellow catches her first. No problem, Sabine pulls her Miss Clairol move and Yellow goes down. Dyson shows up to help herout. Everyone arrives at the bell at nearly the same moment. Sabine is in the clear and runs for it. Unfortunately Mr. Green is there too and takes his shot. The arrow strikes home and Sabine goes down! All hail Mr. Green is named the new Ash. The Blackthorn cares nothing for the now dead stag so our Scooby gang is free to do as they want with the body. He and the Ash saunter off for their victory party.

Meanwhile Lauren pops out from behind a tree and Hamish appears out of thin air. With a mighty over-the-head heave ho Lauren plunges a syringe into Sabine’s chest. Had it not been for Hamish turning Sabine as she ran the arrow would have pierced her heart and it would have been game over. But Lauren is able to counter the poison. Everyone is happy. Sabine and Hamish hug each other. The new Ash hugs his new crown.

Later at the succu-mansion – Bo is all kinds of sexy sexy when Dyson shows up to talk. He listens as she pleads her case. She wants to start over. The Norn made Dyson stop feeling but she didn’t make Bo stop. You can tell Dyson is so much pain. He wants it to stop. Bo threatens to “make him” love her but gets a face full of wolf teeth. Both are sorry and Dyson bolts.

Bo and Kenzi sit on the floor by the tub (cuz really that’s the most comfortable place when you’re heart has been rippedout), sharing ice cream and lamenting. “Well that was supposed to be a lot more epic. Thunderbolts were supposed to go off. Music was supposed to play. There was supposed to be nakedness!” Bo’s decided she won’t give up on Dyson but until he comes around she’s going to have to be his friend.. and lots more ice cream.

Angst flail!

Stay Fae y’all!

If you missed the previous episode, be sure to read our ‘Lost Girl: Something Wicked This Fae Comes’ – Recap to catch up.