Welcome back my darling Faenatics!

Here there be SPOILERS….

Things are a little out of control in Faetown. The Ash is on life support, most of the Elders are dead and the underfae, once held in the Ash’s stronghold, are on the loose. Bo and Hale are charged with the job of bag-n-tag. We find our heroes sneaking down a dark tunnel on full alert. What jumps out at them? A Kenzi! Bo, “I thought we told you to stay in the car?!” Kenzi, “Cars are the basements of horror movie clichés!” Don’t get too comfortable my friends. A flash of something takes flight and our heroes take chase. The flying what-ever-it-is gets a few licks in before Bo zaps it with a B.A.G. and stuffs it in the trunk. Dyson’s awol so Bo’s going to have to find a healing snack the old fashioned way – through Kenzi’s connections.

One of the sweetest moments happens back at the Dal. After marking off the underling on a map Bo asks why Lauren made the trip; she’s really busy after all with all that’s happened. Lauren, “I heard you needed me. I came.” The look on both of their faces makes me almost turn team Docubus! So sweet!

Trick seems to think they’ve caught all of the underfae, but while they are discussing the implications of one downed Ash Lauren gets a call. A body was dumped on the roadside sans its skin. Shudder. Bo loses the paper/rock/scissors (You should’ve thrown lizard, Bo. Lizard eats paper.) and enlists Lauren because things might get sciency.

On the side of Highway 9, Lauren takes a sample of the goo that remains. She geeks a little much with a squeal of “NEAT!” I think Kenzi sums it up for all of us, “Wow. Do we ever have a different definition of that word?” See Kenz is there to say what we’re all thinking! According to Laurens preliminary findings, something swallowed the vic then spit it out without the skin. Gross. Nothing can be done here so they pack everything up and ship it back to the lab. In the meantime, Kenz and Bo express their dismay over Dyson’s sudden vanishing act. Where has our wolfboy gone?

He’s gone to the police station handcuffed by some unknown Smoky the Bear looking cops. He looks a little worse for wear – cuts, bruises, total mess. Hale’s waiting to take custody, “Six semi-conscious rednecks and $5K in damages to a roadhouse. What do you gotta say for yourself detective?” Dyson, “They started it.” Without any more explanation they hug it off. (I’m sorry but what cops hug?!) They’ve got bigger issues to deal with than Dyson’s weeks or brawling.

Cut to a fantastic freak show carnival. (You can’t have a title like Something Wicked This Fae Comes without there being a carnival involved! Ray Bradbury would have a fit!) A fellow in a trench coat and a rather gray sharp toothed gent open the barred door of one of the wagons. And cue the gross again. A scary looking guy up-chucks a disgusting, slimy skin complete with still attached hand. Dude. I’m so gonna hurl.

Bo and Kenzi have hired a “blood hound,” aka Fae with a serious case of allergies, to hunt down the skin. He leads them straight to the carnival and lets them know that everyone ahead is Fae.  Zale tries to tell the girls the carnival is closed but stops short when Bo informs him they were sent by the Ash. Bo tells him they’re investigating a missing person. Zale admits that some of the more devious in his group get “lost” in the night and get into trouble. Surrounded by Fae and not wanting to start a mini war Bo lets him off the hook with a warning. As she and Kenzi are leaving Bo sees a sad eye little girl in the crowd that seems to disappear.

Back at the Dal, temporary Ash, Elder Porter, is schmoozing with the crowd and partaking in far too many spirits. While Trick is fussing him out for his behavior, Hale calls to let everyone know Dyson is home.

Dyson is reliving the hell the Narn delivered when Bo drops by his place. She hugs him then slugs him, “What, are there no phones in douche town?” You can tell Dyson is not feeling it. He skirts the subject and has them head to the Dal to group with the others.

Lauren has the medical results from the goo; nothing more to tell really. Bo fills everyone in on the carnival. Dyson is pretty harsh when he brushes off Bo and takes Hale to investigate the carnival. This guy has got to stop being a douche.

When Dyson and Hale get to the carnival its deserted. They bugged so fast they even left their cloths. Dyson’s can’t catch a scent because they’ve salted their path but he does find the remains of that skin in a fire. They take it to Lauren. The skin has a tattoo – but get this – it’s on the INSIDE of the skin. It was placed there while the guy was in it!

While Bo and Kenzi are lining up the some serious drink, Trick goes down to his rooms for some books he “acquired” from the Ash’s vault. He finds the sewer grate is moved and the gray pallor, sharp tooth guy is sitting at his desk eating his books! Bo clocks the guy as he tries to attack Trick. This doesn’t do anything to Jaws mouth so he tries to bolt for the sewer. Bo grabs hold as he goes down but all she pulls back is a rat. Turns out the guy is a descendant of Tessa, a Japanese rat Fae. It acquires knowledge by eating books (or skins if you think back on why he was given the skin back at the carnival – yet again I say gross). Trick’s going to have to piece together the mess this Tessa has made of the books to determine what it was after. They did, however, find a symbol on the guys clothes. It’s the sign for the sluagh, the wandering damned. They are dead Fae that are cursed to wander the earth without rest. They got this punishment for playing both sides during the early Fae wars. Now they’re just a rag-tag group of thieves. The map on the skin must have led to something of worth.

At the succu-mansion, Bo tries to get Lauren to eat and rest. She can’t. She’s was able to find a file on the victim, Marvin Artdale. He’s a dooney, a helpful road Fae. The only thing Lauren could discern from the chared skin was a symbol on his hand. She also found the same symbol on two other Fae. The records don’t give any location for these two or why they have the symbol.

Kenzi busts Trick with the rat under a magnifying glass. She snatches the rat with a “One step closer and I’m seriously calling PETA… or FAETA… do the Fae even have some sort of protection society?” Trick explains he was only trying to get some paper from its mouth.

Kenzi and Bo meet up to compare notes. Bo was able to find the symbol in a book. It belongs to the Guardians. They donate their bodies to protect something (little vague). Kenzi and Trick were able to find out that the sluagh are looking for the Sword of Agros. A call comes in from Dyson – one of the Guardians has been found dead. This one was guarding the sword, literally. There was a sheath implanted in his back along his spine.

The sluagh don’t want to stop at just a sword. They’re going to use that sword to sever the land from the Light Fae. Now is the perfect time to do it, while the Ash is fading. In order to claim the land the sluagh, being Zale, must marry the land and consummate the marriage. Kenzi, “Talk about laying some turf.” But first they need the Heartstone.

After tripping a boobie trap while hunting for the Heartstone, Bo and Dyson figure out that the sluagh have been two steps in front of them. This stinks of an inside rat. The only connection – Elder Porter. Porter caves under Trick’s confrontation. The sluagh promised him the wealth he deserved. (While they’re interrogating Porter, Zale is cutting the Heartstone and finding himself a beautiful blond prize.) Porter spills the beans. Tessa was eating Trick’s books because he had to find an incantation. Zale needs more mojo to complete the bond with the land. He needs to use this incantation along with a lot of human energy to get the job done. Human energy… like a rave. Leave it to Kenzi to know where to find a sexy, pagan, underground, flash rave!

I don’t think Dyson and Hale have looked more out of place than at a hot pagan flash rave. The Scooby gang splits up to find Zale and Tessa. While searching the dance floor Bo gets two surprises. First, she sees the sad eyed little girl again. Second, Dyson slides up behind her and plants one on her. He is totally not into it – stone cold. This is not good.

Dyson and Hale find Tessa tranced and chanting. Dyson decides to take matters into his own hands, literally. He walks up and snaps Tessa’s neck. That’s one way to sever the mojo flow. Bo find Zale in a back room about to mount the blond land beauty. But oh darn he’s lost his mojo. Bo takes matters into HER hands by sucking the chi out of him.

Trick and Dyson end the day with a toast “To Zale and the sluagh being run out of town!” (You just KNOW that crew is going to come back! I really hope they do. They have so much potential. Can you imagine them meeting Vex?!) Trick is relieved but surprised the sluagh left without a tragedy. Hi admits to Dyson he used his blood to save Bo and he figured the sluagh had been sent as his punishment – there’s always a price when he uses his blood. Dyson doesn’t let on that he thinks that price was his love for Bo.

Later, Dyson fiiiinally has a talk with Bo. He tells it all – how he gave a sacrifice to the Narn to help Bo. “I offered my wolf.” (UGH! That hits my heart every time!) But it wasn’t the wolf she took, it was his love for Bo. You can see the pain in his eyes. He tells her the kiss at the club was the last. Bo tries to protest by Dyson leaves.

And to top it all off, the sad eyed little girl appears. She only shows when a tragedy is about to occur. Bo, “So what’s drawing you here now, my love life?” Something old and far worse has awakened and it’s coming for Bo. And then she’s gone. Nice kid.

Season two has started with a snap. I can’t wait to see more!

Stay Fae y’all!

If you missed the previous episode be sure to read our ‘Lost Girl: Blood Lines’ – Recap to catch up.