Hardware Store Provides Zombie Defense Tools

Posted Monday, October 17th, 2011 06:00 pm GMT -5 by

Did watching ‘The Walking Dead’ last night get you thinking how unprepared you are in the event of a zombie attack? Do you consider ‘World War Z’ more than just a great read? Do you need to update your zombie arsenal? Then Westlake Hardware is here for you!

Zombie pdfIn a novel marketing approach, Westlake Hardware has begun actively marketing hardware supplies as a means to protect you against the undead. They even have a pdf you can download called ‘A Human’s Guide to Zombie Preparedness’ to help you choose the right tools for your needs. As these ads are for the public, they do shy away from any serious blood and gore connotations. For example, chain saws are great for zombie proofing your home as they can be used for clearing away hedges that may be blocking your view of incoming zombies. Need to intimidate a zombie? Try one of their numerous nail guns! And what about those “left behind” stains that are present after you dispose and remove that zombie? Well, Westlake Hardware has cleaners and detergents in stock for your needs. And don’t forget to get those face masks to help fight that odiferous stench from your neighbor who just turned in to a zombie! These are great for the entire family to use! 

So as not to be seen insensitive to the undead, Westlake Hardware does have a page on their site to help those who find themselves no longer part of the living. As the page states, “Don’t let decay and rot slow you down”. Westlake Hardware is there to help with all a zombie needs to keep themselves in one piece. For their zombie customers, they have a ‘Delaying Your Decay’ downloadable pdf. For example, they have a large supply of glue and caulk for peeling skin and bolts and fasteners to repair those broken bones. Lose a limb? Duct tape fixes everything! Don’t forget to buy some deodorizers to freshen up that decaying flesh. For those pesky flies hovering around you as you decompose, stock up on some fly paper. And of course, make sure humans know the boundaries with that handy dandy NO HUNTING sign.

If you are unsure about what to purchase or have a specific situation you want to be prepared for, Westlake Hardware does have a section on each page for those frequently asked questions.

Marketing approaches such as this off the wall Zombie Preparedness is an excellent way for small business chains to compete against their bigger competition. Westlake Hardware has only 88 stores scattered throughout Iowa, Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Texas and New Mexico but since starting this campaign last week, they have already seen a marked increase in web traffic and in store visitors. If this has taught us anything, it’s that anyone (living or undead) can MacGyver their way through a zombie attack! If you’ll excuse me now…I’ll be heading to check my supplies.