Prayers have been answered by all Potterheads everywhere! JK Rowling released a short story, written in the voice of Rita Skeeter, on Pottermore, the official Harry Potter fansite (if you’re a fan and haven’t joined, what are you waiting for?).
The quick little article focuses an appearance of the famous Dumbledore’s Army at a Quidditch match (where they caused such a ruckus that apparently tents were crushed, and small children trampled). The article is typical of Rita Skeeter, with rampant gossip (she suspects a cut on Harry’s cheek is from his wife Ginny cursing him), and is critical of everything, especially Hermoine (and her hair).
Here are the highlights (minus the hilarious gossip):
- Viktor Krum is the Seeker for Bulgaria.
- At 34 years old, Harry is still wearing the same glasses, which Rita thinks make him look like a style-deficient twelve year old.
- Harry is an Auror.
- Ginny is a reporter who presumably covers Quidditch.
- Hermoine and Ron are still married, and Ron’s hair is thinning.
- Ron is no longer an Auror and is helping George with his business.
- Hermoine and Ron had two kids, Hugo and Rose.
- Hermoine is the Deputy Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and tipped to go higher.
- Neville teaches Herbology at Hogwarts and is married to Hannah, who is retraining as a healer.
- Luna is married to a magizoologist named Rolf Scamander and has twins with him.
- Lupin and Tonks’ kid, Teddy Lupin, is Harry’s godson and he’s been seen going off with Bill and Fleur’s child, Victoire.