Prayers have been answered by all Potterheads everywhere! JK Rowling released a short story, written in the voice of Rita Skeeter, on Pottermore, the official Harry Potter fansite (if you’re a fan and haven’t joined, what are you waiting for?).

The quick little article focuses an appearance of the famous Dumbledore’s Army at a Quidditch match (where they caused such a ruckus that apparently tents were crushed, and small children trampled). The article is typical of Rita Skeeter, with rampant gossip (she suspects a cut on Harry’s cheek is from his wife Ginny cursing him), and is critical of everything, especially Hermoine (and her hair).

Here are the highlights (minus the hilarious gossip):

  1. Viktor Krum is the Seeker for Bulgaria.
  2. At 34 years old, Harry is still wearing the same glasses, which Rita thinks make him look like a style-deficient twelve year old.
  3. Harry is an Auror.
  4. Ginny is a reporter who presumably covers Quidditch.
  5. Hermoine and Ron are still married, and Ron’s hair is thinning.
  6. Ron is no longer an Auror and is helping George with his business.
  7. Hermoine and Ron had two kids, Hugo and Rose.
  8. Hermoine is the Deputy Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and tipped to go higher.
  9. Neville teaches Herbology at Hogwarts and is married to Hannah, who is retraining as a healer.
  10. Luna is married to a magizoologist named Rolf Scamander and has twins with him.
  11. Lupin and Tonks’ kid, Teddy Lupin, is Harry’s godson and he’s been seen going off with Bill and Fleur’s child, Victoire.

You can read the entire short story for yourself on the Pottermore site or on the ‘Today’ morning show website.

(Source: Pottermore)