7 issues in and the Uncanny X-Force is still not a team and my patience is wearing thin. Not only are they not a team but the majority of this issue falls into flashback territory. While previously we’ve been following the loose collection of mutants who are trying to save a young mutant girl and stop whatever the hell is happening with Bishop – this issue has none of that. Uncanny X-Force #5 ended with Cluster kidnapping Psylocke’s body while everyone was distracted. Last issue didn’t really touch on that though now, not only is it the focus but so is what actually happened with Psylocke, Fantomex, and Cluster.
We don’t get the whole story in this but it would appear that flashback mode is in full effect and we get to find out what happens after the events of the last X-Force. It isn’t all flashbacks though as it also jumps to present day quite a few times. We’re basically following what happened between Psylocke and Fantomex in the past and watching Psylocke and Cluster try to stop Weapon XIII in the present. Fun.
Fantomex seduces Psylocke (apparently for 2 days straight) and lies to her that Mother is sick and they need money to keep her in the hospital. The perfect excuse in order to get her to help him steal expensive things. With his powers of misdirection having gone to Weapon XIII, he needs her telepathic abilities to be able to pull off the crimes he wants to commit. As she is in love with him, she lets him talk her into it. Needless to say, things go wrong after the theft and everyone’s favorite ninja almost falls to her death – saved at the last moment by Cluster. This is a great lead into Cluster telling her that while various aspects of Fantomex’s powers and personality were split between the three of them, when they separated, Cluster is actually the one who still felt love for Psylocke.
If this was the case I’m not sure why Psylocke’s powers didn’t pick this up earlier.
Which leads perfectly into the gratuitous Psylocke and Cluster make out session.
We fast forward to today where the two of them are trying to track down Weapon XIII to save Fantomex from whatever plans he has in mind. This leads us through a rather humorous yet sleezy club in Madripoor where those who attend want women dressed up as super heroes to take care of their… needs.
This was actually all a setup, though, as when they finally believe they are closing in on Weapon XIII, something happens that distracts them. Weapon XIII uses his misdirection powers to knock out Cluster and kidnap Psylocke. When Psylocke comes to, she is tied up with Weapon XIII before her. He claims he did this all for her and things aren’t what they seem as he did this for her love.
So either they all love her, someone else is lying to her, or I’ve really stopping caring and want this comic to actually go somewhere as the side plots are not working for me in this one.
We’re going to have at least one more issue about the Fantomex love triangle.. erm.. square… rectangle… whatever! I was seriously getting interested in whoever it was that had infected Bishop and skipping over to this side plot seems to be something that should be a filler issue but is more annoying than suspenseful.