Welcome back my darling Faenatics! Last week… they had a hunt and a new Ash was crowned.

Here there be SPOILERS….

This week’s episode – Kenzi battles a broom and the broom wins. “Oh like you’ve never been suckered by a big shaft of wood?” Bo is in high gear cleaning out all that remains of the “wolf that shall remain nameless” and she’s suckered Kenzi  into helping. I get the feeling the succu-mansion is going to shine.

A doorman helps a little old lady steps out of her building in her pretty pink bath robe but then she mumbles something about a dream bolts back in and runs smack into a marble pillar – face first. SMACK! Looks like all of the residents have gone to looney land.

The doorman is a Light Fae that cares for the folks in the building. He doesn’t know why they’ve got mush for brains all of a sudden so he calls Bo and Kenzi for help. He thinks it might be Dark Fae and the new Ash says it’s not his problem. Bo agrees to help. Instead of calling Dyson she calls Lauren. Kenz, “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I get it.”

Kenzi’s not going to be “a gorgeous but unneccasry third wheel” so she heads to the Dal to soak her cleaning sorrows in free booze. “Bo deserves una casa that has that fresh from the dentist feeling but I am not genetically programmed for house work. And she doesn’t earn enough mullah to get me the squadron of maids I deserve.” A super sweet brownie named Mumford can’t help but over hear Kenzi’s dilemma and may have a solution. He cleans houses! Kenzi, “before you devour the inhabitants?” Nope. He just cleans at night quietly. Kenzi needs to check this out with Trick first – you know to make sure there’s no eating nuggets of girl brains, no drinking of virgin blood, no eyeball dumplings, “So what you’re saying, he’s Trick certified to take home?” Trick, “Absolutely.”

Bo and Lauren are collecting anything that might help them find the cause of the koo koo outbreak – including cockroaches. Ick! Bo wants to pop the Cristal and celebrate Lauren’s freedom from the Ash. But like all things Fae its complicated.

Back at succu-mansion – SURPRISE! Guess what Kenzi brought home! Bo, “Confusion and chocolate dispensing terror?” I swear on my free bar tab, Trick said he was safe. Later – SURPRISE vs 2.0 – Bo wakes in the middle of the night to a holy-mother-of-all-things-gorgeous nekkid Dyson in the shower! Please tell me this is not a dream! Dang it this is a dream isn’t it? Ok well it’s a mighty fine dream… until Bo, “Ouch. Why are your nails so sharp?” Dyson, “All the better to rip your heart out with!” Holy Frak! Then he does! Bo jolts awake to find a crazy blond riding her in bed. Kenzi runs in to help, sword in hand. Before any stabbing can occur the blond falls off Bo’s bed and runs through Kenzi and disappears! They go downstairs to find the succu-mansion in a clean state of wonder! Bo needs to find out more about this dream sucking Fae so only one place to go…

Tickopedia – “It sounds like a mare.” Bo, “well this filly only had two legs and tried to ride me!” No Bo, mare as in nightmare. Usually Dark Fae that feeds off humans. He’ll have to take a look through his books to find out why it would attack a house building and if there’s a way to reverse the process.

Next Bo stops at Laurens to get her hair did… oh wait that’s not a hair dryer on her head. They’re tracking Bo’s brain waves. The mare established a psychic connection that has her brain firing 24/7. This is probably what drove the humans mad.

“Kiss my couture! Am I dreaming?” Kenzi is surrounded by boutique bags. Looks like Mumford went a little over board. Brownies are not only the perfect house keeper but also the world’s greatest personal shopper. One tiny little problem – they’re out of honey berry crunch cereal.

Lauren, “somewhere in here I have pills from the glands of a giant Venezuelan wart… maybe it’s better if you don’t know exactly whatyou’re swallowing.” Nice bedroom talk there Lauren. Before they can get into any kind of meaningful conversation – oh like how Lauren was under the previous Ash’s control – in busts the NEW Ash (I don’t like this guy already). He’s come to claim his property. Seems all of the “chattel” of the former Ash gets handed to this one. Bo takes a knife to the situation but Lauren tells her he’s right.

At the Dal – Trick and Kenzi try to pump more coffee into Bo but I think her eyes have turned brown. Trick suggests a baku – a Fae that eats nightmares. One problem, they’ve been hunted to extinction because a pelt of a dead baku wards off disease. Lauren is their best option for finding one but Trick warns, “I have ears in many places…” Kenzi, “when you’re Fae you should probably use a different expression.”

Their only recourse – visit the new Ash, Lockland, and try to get some time with Lauren. Things don’t appear to be going well. Bo finally blurts out that she’s trying to help the Light Fae called Frank Durman, the one he brushed off when asked for help. Lockland admits he’s never heard of Frank Durman (rut roh) nor has anyone asked for his help.

Things don’t seem to be going any better at the succu-mansion. Everything’s rotting and there are undies in the spaghetti. Kenzi is not amused. Looks like sooooomeone forgot the honey berry crunch – finely illustrated by the empty cereal box impaled by a butcher knife stuck to the floor.

Bo heads to the Crawford and gets a mug full of sleep sand. (Bo sweetie, these are Fae! You gotta be ready for them to go all… Fae on you!) Next thing she knows she’s at the Dal watching the Scooby Gang laugh at her expense and leave her behind. The crazy-eyed mare swirls around in madness while the walls begin to bleed black. The blackness consumes Bo but she wakes to find Frank, the Doorman, looming above her. It only takes her a moment to get normal, kick him in the chest and bust the chair to pieces to escape.

Kenzi returns to the succu-mansion carting one seriously big ass duffle that looks like its got a dead body in it. She find Mumford coming out of her bedroom dressed in her cloths – topped by her most adorable pink wig! He thought she left him. (to recover you over dress in drag?) “Mumfy doodles! Abandon my favorite brownie? Never!” Kenzi busts open the duffle to reveal a dead man’s weight in honey berry crunch. While Mumford is popping the top and enjoying the spoils Kenzi lays a request on him, “Personal shopping request? Fur? Baku?” Mumford, “hmm baku pelt. Very rare.” Kenzi, “and I’d like the baku still IN it.”

Bo is in the process of sucking the chi out of Frank. Frank’s a squatting Dark Fae. He’s got a thing going with his gal, Connie – you know the crazy-eyed mare. See Frank here is a sand man – he puts people to sleep. And poor Connie is starving because, well she’s preggers. Night night Bo. (Really Bo? You should been gone at Sand Man!) As “Ozzie and Harriet” are arguing over the choice of meal hubby brought home, Bo wakes and makes her get away, albeit loopy beyond belief. – she’s awake but still dreaming. Somewhere between dreamland and reality Bo locks herself in the elevator and calls Kenzi for help. Meanwhile, Mumfy brings home the best present yet – a live baku!

Bo’s not one to take things hiding in a fetal position so she reverses metal polarity and goes hunting the mare. In a basement only Dexter would love, Bo works through the fun-house hall in her mind and finds an old version of herself in bed! Oh snap! Old Bo starts sucking the chi out of young Bo! Would this be considered suicide?

Our hero Kenzi shows up in the nick of time, “so how do you nosh the bad dreams? Should I like hold her head while you unhinge herjaw or something?” OMG! This burley Meatloaf Amish looking baku takes Bo in the sweetest hug EVER! (Right there people! This is why I watch Lost Girl! The sweetest things save the day! Can I get a big fat AAAWWWW!!) In Bo’s nightmare – the old Bo fades as the sun shines in the windows. Dyson tries to call her back. He wants to be with her. Just as you think she’s stuck in there forever (um ya who WOULDN’T want to be stuck kissing Dyson forever, chuyah) she stabs him into oblivion. YA Bo! She wakes to nice big group hug. Mr. Baku goes off to eat the nightmares of the humans in the building. And Bo goes hunting for a mare.

Instead of killing her – how can kill a mother giving birth – she turns them over to the Ash. Lockland tries to talk he into freelancing and handling things as they arise. Bo, “no disrespect but if anything arises, I’m sure you’ll have it well in hand.” Wink

At succu-mansion – Mumford breaks the bad news to Kenzi, the baku needs him. Kenzi, “I’ll play paint ball in the kitchen! I’ll shave my legs in the living room!” Alas the baku needs him more. Poor Kenz.

Addition to the succu-mansion of note – a complete drum set. They have GOT to tell how these girls get all this crap!

Stay Fae y’all!

If you missed the previous episode be sure to read our ‘Lost Girl: I Fought the Fae’ – Recap to catch up.