The end is drawing near for all of you ‘American Horror Story Coven’ fans, so soak up all of the witchcraft and wizardry while you still can! Here is a recap of this wee’ks episode ‘Go to Hell’. No thanks.
We open with a really nifty PSA Witch equivalent of a 1970’s ‘sex ed’ video to explain to all of us gentle viewers what the Seven Wonders are. Basically we’ve got your seven supernatural food groups: Telekinesis, Transmutation, Vitalum vitalis (exchanging a life force), concilium (mind control), divination, pyrokinesis, and last but not least descensum (decent into the underworld aka hell). Pretty standard stuff for the new Supreme to complete, but who will it be?!
Delia is still trying to regain her ‘second sight’ (her eyes are ROUGH looking, yeesh) but alas, she’s not regained anything but her disappointment and quivering chin. As she’s still on her crusade to bring her mother down, she tries to keep her coven in line and her eye on the ball (pun intended). Unfortunately for Fiona, she picks this time to give daughter dearest a little pep talk about how not yet having her second sight isn’t about being physically blind, but that she needs to believe in herself in order to have it, only then will she have her powers back. After this touching moment concludes, Fiona bestows Delia with one stellar family heirloom of a necklace, and only then does Delia regain the ‘second sight’, but its not the same as before. She receives a vision of basically everyone in the coven brutally murdered except an unscathed Fiona. After this, Delia forgets all the gooey feelings she just held for her mother and returns to her path of self righteous murder. We’re back on track with the hatred!
After this, Fiona is starting to realize that she better get a move on with leaving her horrible legacy behind and gets her portrait done to hang in the great room with all of the other past Supreme’s. She also decides that she’s going to blow that Popsicle stand we lovingly refer to as the academy for witches in training, due to the fact that she doesn’t want to die there. Death is eminent for her either way, as she has cancer and the new Supreme is fast ascending upon her. Guess her little make-out session with the voodoo priest Papa Legba (aka crazy gumbo eyes) didn’t work in turning her immortal.
At this point, Delia starts kicking some serious coven ass and rescues Misty with the help of Queenie and allows Misty to kick the ever-loving crap out of Madison (hell yeah, someone needed to smack that bitch) for imprisoning her in the first place. Huzzah, Misty’s back! It may also be important to mention at this point that Zoe and Kyle have also returned to the coven (kind of a yawn worthy and predictable plot point, but I digress). Madison is pissed like the jealous 6th grader she is that Kyle is in love with Zoe and not her, and vows to make their lives a living hell. But if you think about it, their lives are already pretty hellish: they’re a love struck horny teenage couple that cant really ‘do-it’ due to Zoe’s killer lady parts. Seems like life is already pretty hard all around for them but this is just one onlookers opinion. Zoe reveals to all that she has returned with the power of resurgence and fancies herself the next Supreme, and wants to also take the Seven Wonders test.
Meanwhile, Queenie is studying up for her upcoming SW test, and is paid a visit by Papa Legba in her personal hell of Chubbie’s Chicken where she used to work. She wants vengeance for what Madame LaLaurie did to voodoo queen Marie. Now this is where sh*t gets real. We see LaLaurie in a flashback severing the still alive Marie’s limbs from her body one by one. She finishes with her head, and it’s super brutal. Boy, that escalated quickly. Queenie tries to strike a deal with Legba due to the fact that Marie can no longer keep up her end of the bargain (an innocent soul a year) because she was now in pieces scattered all over New Orleans, so her deal was void, leaving her to die and LaLaurie mortal. Smart cookie this one.
Once she finishes study hall at the academy, she tracks down LaLaurie (in modern duds and a questionable haircut) at her old house giving guided tours, and also re-writing history. She describes her historical self as some kind of misunderstood genius and that her torture sprees were art. ART. Once Queenie corners her in her chamber de horrors, she stabs her and forces her into her own personal state of eternal hell. She’s kept company in this hell by her daughters and now Marie, as it’s also her own personal hell, can torture LaLaurie and her innocent daughters until the end of time. LaLaurie’s daughters may have been miserable brats but they were innocent. Boo hoo for them.
Back in the land of the sort of living, the Axeman receives a visit from Delia, where she basically tells him that Fiona is going to kick-him-to-the-curb-and-drop-him-like-a-bad-habit and that he better get on the winning side of things. But bloody little lover boy is blinded by his feelings for Fiona and states that he thinks she holds the same torch for him as he does for her. However, when Fiona later comes to visit her gentleman caller, he finds out that she was in fact going to leave him in the dust, thus confirming Delia’s warnings. Heartbroken, the Axeman gets into a fit of rage and chops Fiona up into a million pieces of Supreme bits.
At this, the Axeman bursts into the academy for witches in training enraged and tells them what he’s done and that he’s fed her body to the swamp alligators. Misty is befuddled as not even she can resurrect someone once they’re ‘gater sh*t’. At this, the witches get knife happy and gang up on the Axeman and stab him many, MANY times. Like it got a little Tarantino there for a minute. That bloody! For those of you keeping count, this makes all of the 4 big bad’s now dead (LaLaurie, Marie, Fiona and the Axeman). Pretty solid turn of events right before the season finale.
It’s pretty disappointing that just now all of the witches are FINALLY getting to be wicked cool and use their powers for crying out loud. Would have been nice for that to have happened a littler earlier in the season, hmmmm say maybe DURING ALL OF IT. But whateve – better late than never.
Let us know in the comments section below if you’re planning on tuning in for the season final of ‘Coven’ next week!