Superman_frank-miller

I’m not sure what DC was thinking by enlisting Frank Miller to do yet another unwarranted sequel to ‘The Dark Knight Returns’– ‘The Dark Knight III – The Master Race’— but they did it and we’re going to have to endure it… well, to a degree.  No one HAS to buy it and/or read it.  And… well, I hate to tell Dan DiDio and company, but I have a suspicion that that’s exactly what will happen when this much hyped project lands in comic shops.  After all, Miller already went back to that well one time too many with 2001’s ‘The Dark Knight Strikes Back,’ a dismal three-issue miniseries that was universally panned.

But DC certainly can’t NOT hype the hell out of the new series, being released to commemorate the 30th anniversary of the original story.  And the first issue comes with a minicomic starring ‘The Atom,’ the cover to which appears above, drawn by Miller with inks by Klaus Jansen.

I’m not sure what is going on in the picture, but The Atom certainly isn’t what immediately captures your eye.  That would be the overly-rendered Man of Steel.  Oh where to begin?  The awkward, Bizarro-esque S-Shield?  The giant ham fists?  The awkward pose– can you be sprawled out in mid-air?  What about those wrinkly AF tights?  I’m pretty sure spandex doesn’t wrinkle.  And is Superman secretly short?  What’s up with the platform heels?  Or the weird wrinkly-slouchy style of the boots overall.

Oh and what about his super dong?  Because Whoomp, there it is.  Miller did bring us the ‘300’ comic book, starring 300 ripped dudes in leather jockstraps, after all, so he’s no stranger to super bulges.  But most artists tend to… y’know gloss over that part of the male anatomy.  Not Miller, boy!  That guy does whatever he wants and what he wants is to make sure we all know this is  SuperMAN.

Miller did, after all, treat the world to ‘All-Star Batman and Robin’ in which Batman banged Black Canary on a filthy pier and they kept their masks on because it was hotter that way.  If you say so, Miller.

I suppose seeing Superman’s meat and two veg is only fair.  It’s been proven repeatedly that female heroes and villains have nipples, whereas often their male counterparts are smoother than a Ken doll in the pants region.  I mean, it’s simply implausible… in a world where people fly and travel through time and such.

Hey, at least Supes got his red trunks back, right?

If for some self-loathing reason you want to actually subject yourself to whatever crazed debauchery Miller has cooked up, ‘The Dark Knight III – The Master Race’ #1 infests comic shops like genital lice on November 25.  Enjoy?

Source: iO9