ThingFF

Say what you will about the embattled Josh Trank-directed ‘Fantastic Four’ reboot, but it appears the film adaptation of the Marvel Comics team will finally answer the age old question readers have wondered for decades.  What’s up with Ben Grimm’s junk?

BenGrimm1After a transdimensional accident, Grimm (Jamie Bell) finds his body encased in orange rocks.  No longer feeling human, Grimm refers to himself as The Thing and contents himself with a life of isolation.  But as luck would have it– in the comics at least– he finds love with the blind sculptor Alicia Masters.

So what happens when… y’know things get intimate?

In an inquiry basically lifted from ‘Mallrats,’ MTV’s Josh Horowitz went there when questioning the ‘FF’ cast.  “Is The Thing naked?” he asked Bell, to which the actor replied, “I don’t see any pants on him. So I guess he is then.”

Horowitz then fired point blank, asking “How much of The Thing’s thing do we see?”

Sadly, Bell responded, “You don’t see any of The Thing’s thing.”

Miles Teller, a.k.a. Mister Fantastic/Reed Richards questioned whether The Thing even had genitalia, which he answered himself.   Possible spoiler alert!  “I know he doesn’t,” said Teller, “Ben has come up to Reed and asked him if he can do him a solid and make one, or carve it out for him.”

Watch the exchange yourself, but be warned that lots of “solid” and “long” puns are found throughout:

BenGrimm2In the clip, The Thing does not rock sport his famous trunks/pants from the comics.  So… as you can see with your own eyes, he does NOT appear to have genitals.  Asked and answered.

How this conversation managed to avoid Mister Fantastic and his stretchable body parts, I have no idea.

Are you happy to finally have closure to this burning question?  Does having or not having a petrified penis make him more or less effecting at crime fighting?

Wait a second, so how does he pee?

Source: Movie Pilot