Note: The following may be more readily enjoyed if you have had a few drinks, or other mind-altering drugs beforehand. This would have been the perfect tagline to Sony’s planned ‘Sinister Six’ movie, which, based on the details below, sounds absolutely bat-s@#% crazy.

So let’s begin. The team-members would have been Doc Ock, Vulture, Sandman, Mysterio, Black Cat, and, wait for it, SPIDER-MAN himself. (admittedly, there is some precedent in the ‘Ultimate Spider-Man’ comics, but come on). Key scenes were to take place in Marvel’s Savage Land, with the team taking on dinosaurs, the proposed villain was going to be the alien Gog, with the team also dealing with Pandora’s box, somehow the black costume of Spider-Man (which later becomes Venom) would have been introduced, worn and discarded, and in the end we would have been “treated” to a massive Sand-Man towering through London like Godzilla. There are not jokes, nor hyperbole. Read below for evidence from the leaked Sony emails, the first of which deals with Spider-Man’s presence on the team and his relationship with Doc Ock:

“The partnership between Spidey and Doc Ock was something O’Connor suggested should have greater emphasis, comparing and contrasting Otto Octavious’ story arc to that of Michael Corleone in The Godfather trilogy: I think Michael Corleone is the greatest birth of villain/ protagonist as villain…not sure it exactly analagous to Ock but I like the idea of Ock as a character you are totally rooting for even though he is doing bad things…and obviously the transformation from innocence to experience. Also both characters are essentially motivated by family. Second I was thinking about the iconic rivalry btw Ock and Spidey and I think it would be great if after Spidey helps Ock, And you really feel they are friends and want them to be on the same side Ock has to do something that makes Spidey and the audience realize that they will never be able to be on the same side again…b/c the birth of Doc Ock story is only complete if you end it with the establishment of the iconic Spidey rivalry.”

Followed by Drew Goddard’s thoughts on who should play Doc Ock, especially if Spider-Man was not actually in the movie:

“I’m really feeling that for a SS movie to work without Spidey in it, we need a movie star in the lead role. (I’m not sure I could convince him to do it, but someone like Matt Damon as [sic] Dock Ock?)”

They were particularly excited about casting the role of Flint Marko (aka Sandman), as Goddard saw him as the role “where [they] were getting the comedy” from. In this email, he discusses with Sony’s Amy Pascal how they should approach first choice Tom Hardy for the role, as well as going into detail about Godzilla Sandman toward the end of the film (I honestly can’t believe this is Drew Goddard (acclaimed collaborator of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ and ‘Daredevil‘) writing some of these emails):

“I’m gonna write him up a note this weekend.  But, off the top of my head, some possible talking points are:

—  We’re doing something different — it’s time to celebrate the bad guys for once.

— We’re inspired by the classic team/mission of movies: Dirty Dozen, Magnificent Seven, Guns of Navarone.  We want that spirit, that SWAGGER.

— If the Spider-man franchise is the Beatles, then we’re the Sex Pistols

— Flint Marco is gonna steal the show

— The character is pure id — the anarchic enthusiast of the team.  A chance to have FUN while celebrating being bad.

— Tom embodies that anarchy, that triumphant nihilism — we’ve seen him tap into that spirt before in roles like Bronson, but now we have the chance to crank the volume up to ELEVEN.

— He’s gonna storm through London at the end like God-f***ing-zilla.   That is not purple prose.  He’s going to be AS TALL AS A SKYSCRAPER in the third act of the movie.  What does Dr. Strange have?  Magic tricks?  F*** you, magic tricks — we’ve got a skyscraper Tom Hardy knocking down buildings!!!!”

And here’s his thoughts on how to squeeze the Spidey’s black suit and venom into the movie:

“LETS TALK THIS IS REALLY SIMILAR TO WHAT MATT [Tolmach] PITCHED ME THIS AM ABOUT VENOM WHICH HE DOESNT THINK IS A MOVIE ON ITS OWN BUT THAT SPIDERMAN ANS SS ARE THE TEAM IN THE NEXT MOVIE HE GOES TO THEM FOR HELP/……MAYBE FIGHTING CARNAGE IR HE WEARS THE BLACK SUIT BUT ALL THE SS GUYS THINK ITS LAME AND HE TAKES IT OFF AND IT FALLS INTO THE WRONG HANDS”

And the discussion on whether or not Gog was a suitable villain (also hilarious is the comment about the terrible-ness of the ‘Fantastic Four‘ movies, which would have looked like ‘Citizen Kane’ next to this project):

“Gog is tough because then you’re into a giant humanoid creature from another dimension. Feige has had success with the cosmic side of things but it’s a tricky line to walk, the s***ty fantastic four movies’ treatment of the silver surfer and galactus are the cautionary tale
Doc Ock could always just be trying to get his hands on weapons tech that masks a true, more nefarious mission that could involve springing gog. And maybe the six have a puppet master that is a twist reveal like Redford in Cap 2”

And the last bit of insanity regarding this movie has to do with the actual name of the team. It seems the title ‘Sinister Six’ was a bit too dark for some of the execs as Sony, who thought the word “sinister” might alienate the kids who were their target audience. They realistically considered changing the name of the team (and the movie) because of this!

I know after hearing all of this, I am incredibly pleased that the movie is not coming out, though it leaves me a little worried that Drew Goddard is now going to be directing the first ‘Spider-Man’ movie in the MCU. Thank god that studio has some brains running the show, and (most likely) will keep Goddard’s craziest ideas in check.

What are your thoughts on what ‘Sinister Six’ might have been? Are you happy it failed to come out, or would you have gone to see it? Share your opinion below!

Source: Blastr, ComicBookMovie.com