Hey love vagina puns and scary movies? Well, you just hit the jackpot! Here comes ‘Zombeavers’ the “next step” in the zombie craze. Unlike any other horror movie ever, this one focuses on a group of drunk, horny, white teens staying in a desolate cabin in the wilderness. Then things go wrong… horribly, horribly wrong. As in zombie beaver wrong! (Why do people still think woodland cabins are a good idea? You know there are hotels in cities where you can get delicious food and alcohol around the clock and there aren’t any ticks? And that come with free shampoo and sometimes hot breakfast? I mean there’s that and then there’s being where no one can hear you scream and no free shampoo or hot breakfast. And ticks. And creepy hillbillies. And dirt. Lots and lots of dirt.)
The real shocker here is that this doesn’t take place in a Syfy original movie. This is like a movie movie. Like the theater kind. Like it’ll cost you like $27 to see it, if you get pop corn and a mixed Icee. (Because why would you get an unmixed Icee?! What are you, a barbarian?) $35 if you get candy.
This movie appears to have been made for about $5 and some coupons and IOUs and the only person I recognize is that Disney hottie turned pothead rapper Zeke from ‘Zeke and Luther’ (apparently his name isn’t really Zeke, but it’s also not Zac Efron or Nick Jonas, so I don’t care enough to really research it).
Here’s the synopsis:
Zombeavers is an action-packed horror/comedy in which a group of college kids staying at a riverside cabin are menaced by a swarm of deadly zombie beavers. A weekend of sex and debauchery soon turns gruesome as the beavers close in on the kids. Riding the line between scary, sexy and funny, the kids are soon fighting for their lives in a desperate attempt to fend off the hoard of beavers that attack them in and around their cabin.
Check out the trailer below:
Isn’t that… enough? Seriously, doesn’t that give you all you need? Do you really need to shell out your hard earned cha-ching to see some bimbos, hunkasauruses and Zeke fight some zombie beavers and deal with a creepy redneck? (Not to imply that Zeke isn’t a hunkasaurus, just thought he deserved separate mention.)
If so, don’t let me stand in your way.
Will this be more ‘Cabin In The Woods‘ or more ‘Tucker And Dale Vs. Evil’? (Uh, the second one is better. That maybe wasn’t totally clear.) Do you plan on checking this out?