I am still reeling from the monumental events of last week. Bo is Dark, Tamsin is good, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria! And while I can promise you that will not be the only ‘Ghostbusters’ reference it’s time to jump right into this week’s episode and see what happens. As always the following recap is rated TV MA DLSV and may contain suggestive dialogue, strong language, sexual situations, and violence. Intended for mature audiences, reader discretion is advised… or not.
We open right where we left off, Bo is having a pleasant conversation with the Una Mens. Their gargoyle read her blood and she is Dark. Bo calls bullsh*t on the whole idea, citing branding issues. The conversation turns sour and Bo tries to suck the life outta the room only to find that when “you strike at the Una Mens and you shall be your own victim.”
Bo has a chat with Kenzi and the two trace all her Dark Fae woes back to The Wanderer. He kidnapped her, wiped her memory, and when she got back she’s branded Dark. Seems legit. Bo also wants a piece of Kenzi’s former mascara buddy, Vex, and plans on beating some truth out of him. All of which she will have to do on her own since Dyson is out of town looking for Lauren. When they finally get in to see the leader of the Dark it’s not Vex they find in the big chair, but rather Evony! Cue the mildly suggestive ‘Lost Girl’ logo and we are under way.
Bo wants Vex and Evony wants to enjoy the moment. Barbs are tossed and innuendos made. The Morrigan informs Bo that Vex will be at a Dark Fae gathering later today and she’s welcome to come. She can even bring her pet human. She also lets Bo know that there are no worries and that if she can prove she was “hoodwinked” into joining the Dark by the first full moon of the month that she joined all is not lost. Of course, as drama would demand, that’s tonight.
Trick is on the phone, asking for the 411 on The Wanderer. Oh, and he has some horrible little seed in a box. I’m sure that will come up later. Off to the vault with it. Trick is summoned by the Una Mens. Apparently they, like the rest of us, want to hear more of his backstory.
Cut to a fancy party. Bo, Kenzi, and Tamsin make an entrance and the Morrigan tries to entice Bo with a human smorgasbord, which Bo readily Succu-touches into leaving. She’s not really Dark, see! Evony pleads her case for the Dark. Hey, at least they are honest about what they are and isn’t that refreshing? Evony and Bo go for a walk outside and it is mentioned, yet again, that the Una Mens want every human Bo loves dead. They also won’t be leaving until they see Vex dead. He vanished and that upset them. These guys seem to have a one track mind. Evony shows Bo what a good friend she can be by producing… Lauren!
Time for the Una Mens to have their chat with Trick, who stands defiant. Back to Bo and Lauren. Doctor talk, a tray of mini-quiche, and foreplay, it’s sexy time! Cut to Trick. They are talking Sanctuary and we get some insight into just how the Una Mens came to be. In the aftermath of the Great Fae War, a group of Fae rebels tried to overturn the Blood King’s blood laws. They felt, and even Trick agrees, that the Blood King was corrupt. A treaty was struck in which the Blood King promised to relinquish his power to a council made up of Fae. These Fae would go full Borg, giving up their individuality, ambition, and ego to share a single soul to uphold justice. To accomplish this, each of the six members were to swallow a seed from the sacred papyrus plant. Apparently they were never taught to chew their food. While the Blood King initially agreed, he later stole his seed and vanished. See, I knew that seed from the opening scene would come in handy. Foreshadowing FTW!
Back to the party and Kenzi’s take on the difference between Dark and Light Fae. The light are a**holes and the Dark are a**sholes who have fun. She finds Bruce, big guy now being used as a human sushi table, and in an effort to clean him up removes a table cloth from a nearby table only to find a dead bride and groom underneath. Who needs to plan and pay for a party when they can just take one. The Dark are really… dark.
Cut Bo and Lauren catching up. Too much talking for Evony as she enters with my favorite quote from the episode, “Boring! What’s next? Are you gonna braid each others hair? Scissor already!” The Morrigan gets down to business and offers Bo all the resources she needs to hunt down Vex if she swears to bring Vex to her. The resources include a very excitable Scavenger Fae third wheel in a bad pink formal gown and a Fae roofie made by Lauren to render Vex docile enough for transport. Evony’s Angels have their mission.
Pietra lets the two know she is supposed to deliver a fancy scimitar to Vex and the side mission whose only goal is to prevent Bo and Lauren from having any real conversation about their feelings continues down alleys and around gyms. They come up with a plan to use Pietra as bait to lure Vex out of hiding.
Cut to Kenzi and Tamsin and Bruce, who is a slave to a wicked Fae. Kenzi has a plan to free Bruce. She tells Tamsin to become Bruce’s Master and the challenge is issued. His old Master doesn’t want to give him up just yet. Fight on!
Cut to Evony’s Angels. Bo wants to have “the talk” but they are interrupted by a Vex controlled woman who grabs the knife and runs off. Bo follows her into a vast warehouse where she meets up with Vex and the two have a talk of their own. Bo wants the Wanderer and Vex wants to disappear. Vex gets the drop on Bo and needles her with the very toxin that was supposed to be used on him. We also get an up close reminder of Vex’s painfully poisoned hand.
Bo wakes up, seemingly unmolested, in Dyson’s gym house. Vex really was hiding in plain sight. The Fae drug prevents Bo from using her powers but not her mouth. (No not that, really people!) I’m talking about talking. Bo demands some knowledge, she wants to know who and how she was signed up to be Dark.
Cut to the ill-faited wedding party turned Dark Fae Social. It’s a fight to the death. Evony asks Tamsin what form the battle will take and she replies with doe-eyed innocence that she just wants to dance. I guess that’s better than a giant marshmallow man.
Back to Bo. Vex is planning to amputate his Una Mens infected hand. Bo is a bit loopy from the drugs and waxing on about Lauren and how she’s so glad their “break” is over. Seems she’s trying to talk herself into believing everything’s all right on the love front. Vex has other issues. Cutting off the hands of a Mesmer is akin to killing them outright. Something the other Fae have done in the past. Fearing the Mesmers’ power they were hunted down and their hands cut off. A Mesmer with no hands could not feed. It was a horrible way to go. This is why Vex is billed as the last. All the others had been killed. So if you are keeping a running tally of “lasts,” this season we discovered Tamsin is on her last life and Vex is indeed the last Mesmer. Almost feel sorry for Vex. Almost. Bye bye Ginger.
Cut to the Dance Off! Tamsin is cutting quite the rug but soon starts getting served. So what’s a Dark Fae to do? Cheat. Tamsin goes Valkyrie and the competition breaks her neck. Game. Set. Match.
Vex is about to cut off his hand and Bo tries her best to reason with him and just when you think Bo will save him it’s Groovy Bruce time and off comes the hand! (Yes, I could have gone for a Walking Dead joke there as well, but I chose the old classic. Here’s hoping Vex is sporting a chainsaw by next week.)
Conversation time. Vex doesn’t know how Bo became pledged to the Dark. He tells her she could have just asked the Morrigan’s Archivist for the details and Bo realizes that, surprise, Evony played her. The whole mission was to distract her not help her. Bo returns Vex’s hand to Evony. The Archivist reveals Bo’s sponsor to be somebody named Rainer. (Fingers crossed for a Starcraft/Lost Girl crossover) Bo has no memory of signing the declaration. She’s taking her hand back and going home.
Back to the Una Mens inquisition. Trick is prepared to fight his way out when surprise, he is named the new acting Ash! Back to Bo and surprise, Lauren! Time to add insult to injury. Lauren holds a grudge. The light never bothered to look for her. She’s going to work for the Dark. They treat her better. Go figure. Bo is not pleased and we end on an emotional downer. It’s starting to look like those two crazy kids just aren’t meant to be together.
Back to the Bar. Bruce is free, but unsure what to do with that freedom. Bo is drinking heavily. Trick reveals he is the Ash. Grandpa is head of the Light and granddaughter is darling of the Dark but surprisingly, not the most dysfunctional family on television. Time to find out who Rainer is. Should be easy enough, it’s in the King’s Book of Records, which we saw earlier was in the vault with the 6th seed. Surprise… again, both stolen! The Una Mens have the Book and seem rather shaken at the mention of Rainer. So much for that Vulcan temperament.
