Welcome back my darling Faenatics! Last week – we had strippers and dismembered hands and seal pelts OH MY! Bo helped a selkie down on her luck retrieve her stolen pelt from a Dark Fae.
Here there be SPOILERS….
Lauren’s rolling in a body bag on a gurney. Looks like a typical day in the lab. Except for the part where Bo comes out of that bag, “this bag smells like feet!” Lauren wants Bo to ‘meet’ Nadia. She wants to prove to Bo she exists. Bo’s a little apprehensive but goes along anyway. Apprehension is replaced with appreciation – Nadia is very beautiful. Now the problem lies in how that nail the Morrigan gave them ties into awakening her. (Bo you are SUCH a frakkin sap! The woman you just slept with is showing you her GIRLFRIEND and you want to help wake her up?!?!)
Cut to a drunken man singing poorly in a graveyard. He stumbles upon a man dressed as a military general digging up a grave. Before he can get more than a “Hey! What are you…” out of his mouth he’s lassoed by a cowgirl.
At the Dal we learn that Trick’s friend Donovan needs their help. His husband Christoph has been kidnapped. Did I mention his husband is dead? You guessed it! That was his body being dug up. Trick asks Bo and Dyson to look into it. Dyson has to get out of a security detail but he’ll do whatever it takes. Description of Christoph? Leotard, tights, slippers… Christoph was one of the finest dancers in the world.
Meanwhile, Hale is in the bar telling a tale of victory to a couple of fine honeys. Dyson comes in and uses a bit of reverse psychology on our favorite siren. He boasts about getting a sweet security gig with the Glaive, a high ranking Light Fae Elder. This is a gig Hale would kill for. Dyson complains that he’s got to find someone to cover for him but he can’t find anyone. Hale practically knocks him on the head to get it! And speaking of the duty, in walks a young blond teen accompanied by some hefty bodyguards – “What is she? Fae Doogie Howser?” – the Glaive’s daughter Tori. (Oh poor Hale! He’s got to baby sit!) It’s an easy job but the girl comes with a set of rules. (A set of rules? Oh this is going to be SO bad! Rules and Faeville do NOT play nice.)
Bo and Dyson check out the ‘grave’ crime scene (get it? Grave? I crack myself up!) Dyson catches a whiff of something. Around behind another tomb lies the drunken groundskeeper. Looks like he got field dressed. He’s been prepped like a deer – one shot to the head, neck cut to bleed so the organs won’t rot. Whoever it was only took the sweet meats though. Bo, “So we’re looking for a flesh eating Fae foodie?!” Exactamundo! Dyson thinks it’s the work of a chino, a type of Fae that only eats human flesh. (Didn’t we meet one of those in the first season? You remember – foot soup, made Kenzi spray everything in her mouth including Lysol!)
Hale is trying to entertain Tori with that same victory story – Epic Fail. She is a total teen. Kenzi to the rescue! Tori explains how bad it sucks. Kenzi, “Hale? Does the trust fund Faeby speak the truth?” She must remedy this. She begs and pleads Hale to let her sit Tori for just a bit. They can have fun AND Hale will come out looking like a hero. Hale caves. Kenzi, “I am SO your fairy godmother!”
Cut to creepy dude in a theater with a real honest to goodness harpsichord player knocking out a tune on stage. Oh look there’s Christoph reanimated and under Creepy Dude’s control. Around the dinner table sit some pretty impressive looking folks – a five star general (is he supposed to be Patton maybe?), a sharp shooting cowgirl (Annie Oakley?), and a world renowned Italian chef (not a clue who he’s supposed to be).
Meanwhile, Bo and Dyson visit a Dark Fae butcher named Gary. He claims to be running a respectable, legal, organic human meat butcher shop and doesn’t know anything about a slain grounds keeper. His ‘meat’ is watched by Farmers since birth to ensure the quality. Bo threatens prison time with four square VEGITARIAN meals a day and Gary begins to squeal like a stuck pig. Sure he took in a grounds keeper this week. A Lich dropped it off. Dyson explains that they are Egyptian royal Fae that have traded eating flesh for eternity for knowledge. After a little more veggie persuasion Gary gives them the address of the Lich.
Some rockin Latino beats are thumping at the Dal much to everyone’s dismay. Kenzi and her new BFF Tori are shaking their bootays and getting some girl talk on ‘till Hale stops the party. Tori isn’t allowed to have THIS much fun. Tori yells “I’m the Glaive’s daughter BITCHES!” (again – poor Hale)
Back at Creepyville Theater – Dyson and Bo arrive for the rehearsal. Dyson brings to Mr. Creepy’s attention that he failed to sign in at the Dal. Creepy apologizes for the oversight but he’ll be leaving in the morning so they can give his regrets to the once and former King. (So he knows Trick AND knows he’s the Blood King. Interesting.) He takes a better look at Dyson and proclaims “my goodness! You are gorgeous!” (I’ll agree with that.) And then he looks at Bo, “but you my dear are divine.” While the man is going on and on how he’s always wanted to meet a succubus Bo notices a painting of a man with a scarab necklace. (I’m sure this little tidbit of info is going to be useful later.)
At the Dal – Hale calls the Glaive to check in (as per Tori’s instruction) but gets an earful of WTH?! She’s not amused that he’s interrupting her. When he finally gets off the phone he’s met with no Tori and no Kenzi. This is NOT good. Hale, “Man! This is one of those moments where I wished working homicide meant you got to do the killing.”
Bo keeps looking at the painting but the cowgirl moves in front of it as though she’s protecting it. Blah Blah Blah – Mr. Creepy keeps going on about not knowing the passion of the succubus. Just as he’s about to take a bite out of Bo, Dyson puts a hand on his throat to remind Creepy he’s there. The Lich has taken a friend and they want him back. Creeptastic isn’t giving him back because technically he’s not married any longer, not since he died. He does, however, invite Bo back for an ‘acquisitions’ party later. She accepts his invite and promises not to bring Dyson. Light Fae are not on the invite list.
At the Dal – Bo drops the bad news to Donovan and Trick. She tries to put his mind at ease by telling him that the Lich isn’t eating Christoph but this is a bit much for Donovan to take. Trick tells Bo that Lich usually keep their souls in an object. Bo’s thinking that guarded painting might be the vessel. Destroy the painting – destroy the Lich (ala Dorian Gray).
Hale looks ten degrees of stressed. He puts out an APB on the girls but wants it kept on the down low. Dyson to the rescue though – he learned his lesson the last time he watched the Princess and had a tracking device installed in the bracelet she wears. He just made Hale’s millennium!
Bo has asked Lauren to be her date to this little Lich shindig. The Lich knows everything about everything and he may know a little something about the nail. (I’d like to point out that there is a very tender scene here where Bo reaches out and touches Lauren’s lip to fix some lipstick. This moment is as tender, if not more, than the missing 8 second armgate sequence. This is not a manipulative act – as I see armgate. It’s a tender innocent action from Bo. I still think Bo is a sucker. But this moment also begs the question WHY did the networks edit out that arm touch and not edit out this touch? In fact, I’m not seeing much of anything being edited this episode.)
At the Theater of the Creepy – a diner is being set at the table but first there is a show prepared. The Lich can feel, or live though his dolls as they perform. He has Christoph perform a masterful dance for their entertainment.
Meanwhile at the succu-mansion – Kenzi and Tori are having one hell of a good time. Music, dancing, and drinking abounds! Hale seriously busts the mood. But Tori pays him back by barfing tequila all over him. All Hale can say is, “Get it off!” Kenzi finally undresses Hale! (OH MY! What big abs you have! Why have they not shown Hale’s abs sooner and more often?! Puts Dyson to shame! Shame I tell you!) Kenzi is obviously thinking the same thing we are!
(We follow those abs with harpsichord playing?!? You are evil writers!) But back at the Theatre de Creepy – the show continues. Bo tries to use her gifts on the Lich but nada. Lauren tries to turn the conversation towards her time in the Congo. This catches his attention. He knows about the incident and is impressed with how she cured that village. She explains Nadia’s coma and this seems to shut down the conversation. He doesn’t want to talk about it an longer.
Donovan is searching Trick’s office and finds the dagger he’s looking for. Trick stops him before he can leave. He’s at wits end and begs Trick to let him have it. Trick talks him down though. Bo can do this.
Bo tries to convince the Lich one last time to hand over Christoph but he refuses. So Bo handles the situation the only way she knows – with a knife. She doesn’t go after him though, she goes after the painting. She drives the dagger through the painting but all he does is laugh, after a much overdone dramatic feigned death. That wasn’t his vessel. Bo and Lauren finally figure out that the Lich has placed his soul in his human dead dolls! Bo’s new plan would be to suck the chi out of each of them except for the fact that they hear her and draw guns. The Lich chains them to a beam on stage. He wants to witness a succubus feed.
At the succu-mansion – Kenzi gives Tori coffee to help with the drunkenness. Tori passes out cold. Well THAT was a bad idea. Coffee was one of the no-nos.
Creepy Lich demands Bo to feed off Lauren. He wants unbridled passion! She would rather die than suck all of the chi out of Lauren. Lich, “fine.” BLAM! The cowgirl shoots Bo in the gut!
Kenzi, “I! Killed! The Glaive’s daughter!” Begin Hale and Kenzi meltdown.
If Bo doesn’t feed the Lich will bring her back and force her to do it anyway. Bo’s on to him though. If he raises her he can only watch her feed. He won’t be able to feel anything. Either way she has to feed. Now he threatens to eat Lauren. Bo is helpless. With a knife to Lauren’s neck Bo goes nuclear and sucks the chi from every doll in the room at once. (Cool trick.) But then she gets all Zuulesque and starts claiming, in an all-powerful voice, that she can be more powerful than all of the Fae. Aaaand then she passes out. When she wakes she revives Christoph with the reverse chi action but the cowgirl refuses.
Hale and Kenzi discuss the places to run off to. (I will give a prize to the first person that can accurately tell me the name of the artist and painting that is on Kenzi’s laptop!! I kid you not! I don’t know what yet but I’ve got some cool stuff in this studio. That painting is rad!! Post in the comments and we’ll work out the deets.) Hale remembers Dyson mentioning the Lich. He thinks this may be their only hope to get Tori back.
Before the Lich can grab a bite to eat to get his strength back Bo steps on his feeble hand and demands to know about the nail. He tells them it’s an African shaman’s cursing nail. Find the piece of wood with Nadia’s nail and remove it and she will most likely wake up. Bo won’t let him eat. (That’s kind of cold Bo.) The Lich has experienced his last glory. He has finally experienced death.
Christoph and Donovan are reunited. Christoph only has a day, maybe three, to live. Donovan is going to take every minute and relish it. Hale bursts in with Tori frantically looking for the Lich. He needs the Lich to raise her from the dead. Dyson walks up very casually and lands one solid punch to Tori’s gut. She pops up with a gasp! When she goes into an allergic shock – she’s allergic to coffee – someone has to help kick in her second heart. Hale is off the hook because if Tori’s mom found out about any of the crap that happened she’d be grounded for half a century. She likes Kenzi so much she’s willing to buy her from Hale. He’s about to take her up on the offer but he’s attached to Kenz.
Lauren sneaks Bo into the Light Fae compound again. (Really? They couldn’t talk about all of this elsewhere?) The show ends with Lauren planting a really great kiss on Bo – right over Nadia’s comatose body!
I don’t know what to think! It seems like Lauren really cares about Bo but why does she have to be so darn manipulative about it?! And what’s up with the massively powerful super Bo?! That was a bit scary to think she can go nuclear like that. I can’t wait for them to move this story line along! Enough with the fluff episodes!
What did you think?
Stay Fae y’all!
Did you miss an episode? Check out our recap of last week’s ‘Fae Gone Wild‘.
